Evelyn

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Evelyn

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Viewing 7 posts - 151 through 157 (of 157 total)
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  • in reply to: When employers won’t, or can’t help #119100

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Thank you Larynxa, It took a long time to get that job. I do have help through a local guidance center but with my current financial situation I have to rely on the state to pay for services. Actually I think the state runs it. They are really good at giving out the drugs, but they don’t have much in the services dept. Not even for people who are depressed. I have been trying to get coaching or some other structured help that would address the issues I have. The drugs help a little but if I start hyper-focusing on the wrong thing then my whole day is shot. I get really wrapped in the guilt sometimes, it is just so hard to keep on task when you don’t have someone (who understands) to nudge you a little.
    I have lost so much of my self-esteem and confidence over the years, that it’s really nice to hear kind words. My motivation has gone south too. It’s really hard to start over so many times. I used to think I was a professional at starting over and could roll with the punches. If you asked me 15 years ago if I could start over again I would have answered yes with excitement and challenge. I have to say it’s getting really old. I’m 52 years old and as of December 7th, 2013 I am the eldest of the family. I feel I should be able to show more responsibility, but I can’t concentrate enough to do anything right now. I thought a simple little driving job would get me back into the swing of things, not make things worse.
    I know I’ll find something else I just have to muster up the motivation to start plugging away at it again. It just really hurts to be so different.

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    Evelyn
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    Post count: 164

    I took A&P 1 and 2 I got through it with an audio recorder. I got the Olympus VN-5200PC,for about $60.00 back in 2008. Although you can use a cassette or micro-cassette recorder that is what I used for the first month. But the digital was cheaper in the long-run. I recorded the instructor and the entire chapter reading, (I read into the recorder). Reading the chapters yourself does two things: One, it gives you something to tuck under your pillow at night for sleep learning. Two, It helps you read every word without skipping any of them when your mind wants to play somewhere else. It really, really works I made all A’s both semesters. It is a lot of work, there is a ton of information but it is worth it. Instructors are usually receptive to recorders, some will even allow you to put them on their desk close to where they are talking. Oh flashcards too.

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    in reply to: Procrastination? Removed My Lynchpin! #94825

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    OMG!!! Yes. I thought I was really crazy. I couldn’t do the dishes or anything else for a couple days. I was wracking my brain to figure out why. Then it dawned on me. I needed to put the dishes I had washed previously away. I took it as they were blocking my way. In the moments following that realization, I thought I had found the Holy Grail to end my procrastination. Then it happened again a few days later, but the previously washed dishes were already put away. I just had to force my self through them, I had no idea what was going on. I was so upset, broken-hearted even. Now I can see that it may not have to be related to the task at hand. WooHoo!

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    in reply to: Learning to feel time #106336

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    I have been using the timer on my kitchen stove to time the washer cycle. It never failed that the washer would quit and I wouldn’t notice the silence. So the clothes would stay in the washer too long, then need to be rewashed. The timer on my kitchen stove will keep beeping two quick beeps every minute, until I physically stop what I’m doing and turn it off.

    When I remember to use it, it works wonders!

    I have also used it when I really need to do something at a certain time (in the not too distant future) but want to do something else while I’m waiting, like read or work on the computer. So far it has worked well. I have even used it as a procrastination timer. Like when I put off doing something, like the dishes, or cutting vegetables for dinner. I’ll set the timer for 15 min. or a half hour, then when the timer goes off, the task I put off has had a chance to infect my brain and I usually do it.

    …Yes I have reset the timer, sometimes more than once, but I did not completely forget the task.

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    in reply to: Dyscalculia anyone? #104743

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164


    ) Yup! I have that! (


    :-)

    Especially the noise, smell, and the inability filter out unwanted information. It seems like everything is in my face all the time. The TV can totally absorb me and make me tune everything else out. I am so particular to smells that I cannot handle storebought perfumes, I have to make my own with essential oils, “must be real” perfume oils, air fresheners, and other phoney stuff nearly gaggs me.

    I have had the gas company out three separate times to find a miniscule leak on the backside of a gasline, it was so faint that the sniffer machine had a hard time finding it, the tech spent at least 3 minutes with the bubble solution trying to find out where it was comming from.

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    in reply to: Dyscalculia anyone? #104741

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    I also have trouble with math, mental math, algebra, estimating distance and by all means time. I can only remember multiplication tables for a short time after lots of practice at the “Math Is Fun” website: http://www.mathsisfun.com/timestable.html. I do remember faces, but have trouble putting names with them. I put a 4 x 4 red sheet of paper at eye level on my bedroom wall with the words, graduating in size, Always, Always, Always Remember Names! This has helped me quite a bit. I increased name recollection just margenally at first, but by the end of 6 months I found I was remembering a lot easier and with less effort. I have retained some of the ability since taking down the paper, but I am getting ready to put it back up.


    ) By the way what is “low-latent inhibition” (


    :?

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    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    I had no idea that NOT holding a grudge was an ADD thing. I have a very hard time maintaining a grudge. I really have to work at it. I’ve only had three people in my whole life that really hurt me so bad that a grudge was warranted, well plenty that have hurt me, but the first one stole a car from me. I was too trusting I signed the title of the car over to him without a witness and he never gave me the money for it. I held the grudge for about 8 years. I finally forgave him, I couldn’t help it I had too, he was a friend of my sisters and though I didn’t see him often it was always a tense situation and I couldn’t handle the emotion that kept boiling up.

    The second one, a friend who was down on his luck and was sleeping in my truck ’til my Dad said he could have the spare room if he helped around the house. I helped convince him to let him stay, of course. So he repays us by stealing money from my father. My Dad had a small cloth covered breifcase that he put all his silver change in. It was so heavy I could bearly move it. Then one day, while cleaning, I went to move it and almost fell flat on my ___ because it didn’t weigh anything. I was livid. Over the course of about 6 months my Dad kept asking me if I trusted him. I would always answer yes. It didn’t even occure to me that my friend would do that. After my Dad passed away is when I realized that the breifcase was empty, then other things started to fall into place, like my Dad always sitting on his pouch-(the fanny pack he kept his wallet and important papers in) he kept it with him all the time. When it comes to mind I feel like such a ditz that I didn’t pick up on his clues. He must have lost some money out of it when he fell a sleep, which he did quite a bit toward the end there.

    The third one was mor recient, also a friend down on his luck who needed a place to stay, (You’d think I would learn my lesson) Any way he had a bit of a drinking problem (a lot of a bit) but I was in a tight spot, my mother had just passed away and I was trying to go to school for Physical Therapy Assistant, so I needed someone to stay with my step dad, who has Alzheimers, he cant be left alone for very long. To make a long story short; I woke up one morning in the wee hours to the sound of water falling on a bare floor, at first I thought it was my stepdad, cause he has problems like that. It turned out to be my friend, releaving himself in the computer room, not 4 inches from the computer tower. I asked him what he was doing (I could see his silhouette in the blue light of the router box, so I knew) But he blurted it out–I’m taking a p____! I said well clean it up when you are done, or something a little more colorful. Any way I actually wound up cleaning it up. I didn’t raise my voice to him for two days, and I refused to talk to him about the insident. If he went to the bar I locked the doors so he couldn’t get back in the house, but I did put a sleeping bag in the truck for him. Monday morning I went to cancel classes, and try to salvage as much of my tuition as I could, luckily it was early in the semester. My silence got to him he raised his voice to me in front of my step dad, the first time he had ever done that. I backed down because it was upsetting my stepdad, then I let him see us on friendly terms. Then just two nights later he got drunk again I had locked the doors at 2:30 but hadn’t gone to bed yet, I let him in not realizing how drunk he was, and he lit into me because I had fallen asleep on the couch with my step dad still up out of bed (another story) he raised his voice in front of my step dad, again– I saw a pattern forming, he expected to controle me through my concern for my step dad and his emotions. It did not work, I fired back, ready to take on the responsibility of damage controle when it was all over. I ended up throwing him out of the house, (big argument, things broken, cops were called) and I meant it, I only felt bad that it was September, turning cold, he had used up all his other friends, but, he is still out!

    I am not holding a full-on grudge with him, but he isn’t welcome here after dark.

    Grudges are very hard for me to maintain.

    Sorry about being so long winded.

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Viewing 7 posts - 151 through 157 (of 157 total)