Carrie

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Carrie

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  • in reply to: emotional disregulation? #120914
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    Carrie
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    This only happens, well happened, to me once a month… Anti-depressants cured that! Anything would set me off like you described, could be ANY little thing and I was on a rampage for the rest of the day… I went from angry to depressed, to angry, to depressed. But anti-depressants have fixed that. I cant imagine life without them…

    If I am in a general sour mood, “some things that help a little” Comedy is what I use.. and I make sure im not hungry. I turn on youtube and look for things I find funny. It really does lighten my mood. Distraction works well with me. When its just a little thing that sets me off – luckily I have the memory of a goldfish and usually forget why I was mad in the first place.

    I used to go through that. It seemed PMS was just finishing when the cycle started all over again. About one week of the month I would say my emotions were “stable”. It is hard to focus on everything else when emotions are in the way. THAT I completely understand!

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    in reply to: BOOBS!!! (seriously- this one is about nursing) #120874
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    Carrie
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    I have had this experience too Geoduck. One time my “mom dumb” brain was so bad I put down a candy by my husband. Turned around and back in less than a minute, saw the candy in front of him and accused him of stealing it from me. (This was before meds too). The only reason I believed that he didnt steal it, was because there was no feasible way he could of hahahahaha

    I had plenty of milk… I only fed my kids for a month however because I didnt have the patience to have a kid on me for that long. I couldnt stand it. It didnt hurt, I just didnt like the dependence. Feeling tied down. Makes me feel like a bad mom, but I have good kids.

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    in reply to: Does Anti-depresents make ADD symtoms worse? #120860
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    Carrie
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    In my OWN experience and research (bare in mind it effects EVERYONE differently) it has not. I take both an SSRI and a stimulant. I cant imagine life without EITHER of them! I dont take the SSRI for ADD however. I take it to level my mood swings when I PMS.

    A SSRI increases your serotonin level while hardly effecting your dopamine levels which make them quite effective in that manner. So they dont really effect your dopamine level too much… Also SSRIs are more commonly used because they dont have too bad of side effects. Where as other anti-depressants (MAOIs) have significant side effects.

    Some people with ADD are treated with antidepressants instead of stimulants. Check out the medication forum to see which ones. They all have information on them.

    One thing to watch out for when taking SSRIs and stimulants is Serotonin Syndrome. Thats when your body is getting too much serotonin and it becomes toxic. You would notice it right away if it happened, it happens pretty quick. I know with MAOIs this risk is greatly increased because it takes a while for your system to get back to “normal” after taking it.

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    in reply to: ADHD Coaching #120859
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    Carrie
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    I had a coach over the phone for almost a year… It was quite costly. At first I had session twice a month, and then once a month. Twice a month worked much better, but at the time we were short on cash and then went down to once a month. I didnt find this effective at all. It was basically an update and then the session was over.

    She did help me at times. Other times I felt were a waste. I found it very effective when I would do things while on the phone with her eg. organizing a clutter pile. Once when I was over excited/impulsive and quit my job ahead of time, then realized I had bills to pay, I called her crying my eyes out and she helped me through it. I was very thankful for the support.

    I really did enjoy talking with her. Twice a month was great! Once a month. Nope. But it was waaaaaaaaaaay too expensive! I could of been paying for a new car!

    I really want to go to a group session. I havent got around to looking for any just yet (go figure hahahaha). I think a group would hold me more accountable. Just like school situations. I do better in a classroom when im forced with immediate consequences if I dont go. Online courses I never finished.

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    in reply to: Vyvanse .. What were they thinking!!! #120844
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    Carrie
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    Vyvanse is my drug of choice. Works the best for me. Gives me both focus and clear mind. Cant imagine life without it! Ive been on Ritalin, Dexedrine, Adderall… Its different for everyone *shrugs* No side effects other than insomnia to start, and dry mouth.

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    in reply to: Prioritize, Verbalize, and Get it done, but Failing. #120842
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    Carrie
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    @seabassd – I always think the same thing as you! I miss my crazy all over the placeness. Everyone thinks im drunk or on drugs when im not on my meds. I dont take my meds on days off unless I have the destructive itch. Then I do. I always take them for work. There is too much going on to accidentally miss something!

    @evelyn – Ritalin gave me the best focus out of all the ones ive tried. But gave me the worst rebound. Dexedrine works best for me! I take Vyvanse now and works like a charm! I have focus and a quiet head πŸ™‚

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    in reply to: Drowning #120810
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    Carrie
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    Hello! Bonjour! Hola! Guten Tag! So nice to see (almost) everyone again!! *GROUP HUG* Yes, im a sissy hugger now…

    @KC, my husband loves you for that comment. Guns and a wife to shoot at. What more could he ask for!

    @scattybird – Thank you!! πŸ˜€

    @Allan – Where have you been?? Im not going to poison my husband! πŸ˜› He’s a huge help!

    @larynxa – Thats where on of my favorite animators got his name “Weebl” from!! It all makes sense now! And you are very right! πŸ™‚

    I didnt realize how far ive come until reading through this again. I must say, I am truly happy. I just got the job I wanted, moved into a house I love, I have great tenants renting my house, my husbands job couldnt be more perfect for him (whole reason we moved, remember!). I am learning more and more each day how I work and how to deal with it. I must say, I am proud!

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    in reply to: Prioritize, Verbalize, and Get it done, but Failing. #120798
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    Carrie
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    Ah well! Theres always next week! I love garbage day! Now its a game to see how you can fit it in! hahahaha Bring some over to the neighbours when they arent watching! shhhhhhhhh!

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    in reply to: What have you been doing for excitement lately? #120796
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    Carrie
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    Ive joined ROLLER DERBY!!! Now I just need to learn how to roller blade… hahahahahahahaha Im better already! My 6 year old daughter is teaching me! πŸ˜‰

    I also want to take up para-sailing, kayaking, and life. Learn to slow down and enjoy it! Thats hard! Ive been pacing around on my days off! BUT ROLLER DERBY! Starts back up in September so I have all summer to practice! xD

    @phoenixmagicgirl – I think studying for a class is exciting! I love school and miss it! Was a good stress! Gave me something to do! πŸ˜€

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    in reply to: Prioritize, Verbalize, and Get it done, but Failing. #120795
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    Carrie
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    Good morning there!

    I didnt take my meds yet. Its too early! I need them to get me through my evening job! So please excuse me if I write out of context. I didnt read hahaha

    @evelyn – your “suppressing action” reminds me of me when ON medication. I dont get things done… at least before without meds I would be angry at the things ive been putting off and get them done. Now without my anger… I have no motivation at all. Sad eh? hahahahahaha

    Ive ran out after the garbage truck. They just laugh at me. I dont mind. I like it. hahahaha

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    in reply to: Drowning #120791
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    Carrie
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    @allan πŸ˜› danke danke Your fun!

    @Kc HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You always have great ideas there, good sir! xD

    @ERmomof4 – Sorry it took me so long to get back to you! How did I stay afloat? Well I will give you an update! My kids just finished grade one and two (time flies – thank goodness for this at times!).

    ***sorry long post***

    Medication – My ADD meds help that “destructive itch” I call it. They stabilize my hyper ups and downs. They help me remember what im doing and why. They also stop me from starting arguments with my husband for fun. I also am on antidepressants. They saved me! PMS was a really bad problem. During this time I became a ticking time bomb. From being incredibly angry and verbal abusive to my husband to feeling like I did in this post and wanting to die because I felt like such a monster out of control. I dont have that anymore because of my antidepressants. A HUGE difference! With my emotions out of the way I could focus! This is why I dont have these emotional posts anymore. I can handle it. I can make sense of things!

    School – I have taught my kids to get ready the night before. They must make their own lunches and then I approve them. Just a quick check. They choose their clothes for the next day, once again I must see them first. That solves that. I didnt like having to tell them every five minutes what they had to do next, so I made them a list with cute pictures to follow in order. Since they are still young they love it. I told them once the list is done they can do as they please.

    After school I get them to empty their back packs and anything important (forms etc) I need to see put right on the kitchen table so I can remember it. Out of sight, out of mind. When events are coming up, I put it on my calendar (I would die without it) and put the form on my fridge (if I have to get things ready for a swim day etc). I also set myself an alarm on my cell phone to remind me. I let them know that I am forgetful, so if they dont tell me it wont happen. I tell them to remind me. Kids dont forget the things they are excited for. I use that for my advantage. I swear the teachers must roll their eyes at me because I still tend to get the forms in on the day they are due, or forget to pack some things the kids need, but they are aware I have ADD, they may not understand it fully, but I know im doing better.

    Holidays – Ive actually been doing well. Before an event I have a family member come over to help me clean and organize. My sister is a great organizer and cleaner, she knows I have ADD and understands struggle. My grandmother also loves to help, though she always says “Carrie-Ann! What am I going to do with you!” I tell her ahead of time “You can help as long as you dont lecture or scream in fear at the laundry pile in my room!” Shes been good about it. Ive been doing better because of it. I told my family I need help and dont know how to organize. They have helped me. Also, I try to arrange for others to pitch in. Like potluck. Relieves some of the load.

    Husband – He too has learned about ADD and has seen the difference my medication has made. In fact he will refuse to put up with me if I dont take them. Only once a month I dont think I need them, but of course thats when I need them the most so he will get them for me hahahaha I never showed him my true feelings or emotions. How I felt like a monster… one day I did break down and cried in front of him telling him how I hated myself. He then realized I wasnt a heartless b-otch, I really did care. I explained I had a hard time dealing with my emotions. He is a great guy and together we learned about ADD and how it effects me.

    PMS was my biggest problem. Also, when im hungry I get VERY VERY snippy. When I start to get snippy its not the first thing anyone asks me “are you hungry?”. My husband has started bringing snacks for me hahahahaha But he now knows im not mad at him or the kids, im just hungry, or just overwhelmed. He helps me a lot. But I have to go to him, hes not a mind reader… I could drop a subtle hint and my sister would pick it up, him, nope. Must be a man thing hahahahaha I take him aside and tell him like it is. Tell him how im struggling and that I need help with something. That was hard for me to do since Ive never shown emotion to anyone, I am the tough one! Love is for sissys! hahahaha

    Meds have really calmed me down. No longer in the emotional fog. Im not as hard on myself either knowing I have ADD. I cant help but be a little unorganized. Its not an excuse, but reality.

    Of course all the lovely people here who offered support when I had break downs. Was VERY VERY helpful to just vent! They all make me smile and feel better!

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    in reply to: High five corner 2.0 #118383
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    Carrie
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    OH MY GOODNESS!! SO GOOD TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN!!! XD

    My high fives…. Well coming back to this site… It was a bit of a shock I must say… I couldnt get over the homepage… I find it quite overwhelming. I was angry with the fact that I couldnt have a profile pic… and well bleh.

    Another couple high fives… I sat down and wrote a grocery list.. I got groceries today… I have been putting that off for about 2 months. I didnt panic or get anxious once! Not even while standing in a huge line or when getting caught behind slow people or people blocking the lane. Instead I asked them nicely to move and made conversation. Wooo! I then calmly went to another store and took my time and actually went through a sale bin which normally I wouldnt even attempt because it takes too much time.

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    in reply to: Feel like talking? #116514
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    Carrie
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    Allan – I used to troll all the time but on online games. One time on CoD my cousin and I were playing capture the flag and we pinned our own team member in the corner. The other team came in and blew us all up. My cousin and I were laughing our heads off listening to our team mates cuss us out. It was really fun! Or on Gary’s Mod – Survival! There was a glitch in the map and I could jump out of bounds and kill the other players without them seeing me. They would get so angry! Heh! 😈 Oh oh oh oh!! And this is a mean one… But I would go into christian chats and pretend I was going to kill myself… eeeeeeeeek! I know, I know!! Thats bad!! But I thought it was pretty funny at the time… That was a long time ago though… hahahaha

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    in reply to: Feel like talking? #116513
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    Carrie
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    Quite turbulant indeed ;)

    I just found out today that my renters have left me high and dry. They still owe me $1300. Woooo! Go me! hahahahaha Ah well. Now they moved to the other side of Canada. Bleh. I don’t care that they owe me money, I care that they left and didn’t give me time to prepare and left a HUGE mess in my house. They left all their furniture and garbage. Now I have to travel 5 hours to get to there and clean up! I think I will just hire someone to do it for me. I HATE having to clean up! I need a big truck and trailer! EVERYTHING TO THE DUMP! Maybe a tiger torch! BURN IT ALL! MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA

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    in reply to: I don't think it's working. #117537
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    Carrie
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    Hello there!

    I was first started on Ritalin and didn’t think it made a difference…. As ive said many times before… I was expecting a AH HA moment. I thought thing would automatically be different. I would feel different! Things would make sense! That wasn’t the case at all. It was very subtle. Like I didnt doodle all over my notes in an education session. I stopped starting arguments with my husband for no reason at all. I didnt have to squeal or run around or hit things impulsively to get out a sudden rush of excited emotion. It helped with my destructive itch. Almost like an addiction. The “itch” would suddenly come over me. I didnt know what I wanted but I needed something! I used to turn to drugs, alcohol, food, sex. Not anymore! Like shutterbug Ritalin made me really edgy too. On the rebound I got VERY VERY cranky… I sought out other meds.

    It took about 6months to find the right med for me… Maybe you need a different med? Different dose? It takes a while to find the right combo but it is REALLY worth it! Ive been taking meds for just over a year now…. I didnt have any for the last week and did I ever see the difference then! Once you take them for a while and then stop you see a big difference. My family can tell right away when I havent taken my meds. Once again, subtle changes. Medication also does not teach habits. Medication will make it easier to slow down, have patience and learn the habits. But this too takes time!

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