When employers won’t, or can’t help

Login Register
When employers won’t, or can’t help 2013-02-19T16:03:52+00:00

The Forums Forums Emotional Journey I'm Sad When employers won’t, or can’t help

Viewing 0 posts
Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #119095

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    I just got a job working for a driving service shuttling people between locations within a complex of buildings that was spread all over the city, there were about 70 or so pick-up/drop-off points. There was a map, and there was a series of color coded maps. I received the color coded maps in a folder along with directions, which would have been helpful if I were allowed to have the big map too. Something that would help me put the pieces together and know where the large roads and freeways were in relation to where I was. I tried from day one to get that piece of information. I tried learning the way they thought was the right way to learn, and that was by sitting in the passenger seat working the list and radio. My first trainer told me to never-mind the maps, but I knew I needed maps. The second trainer, wanted me to use the maps and could not understand why I didn’t know where the freeways were, that’s when I told her I needed the big map to help me put it all into perspective. I tried to make her understand, but she couldn’t, every bit as much as I couldn’t understand there way of teaching, she couldn’t understand my way of learning. Neither could the other trainer. And apparently my supervisor didn’t understand either, and I did tell them I had ADD they seemed to understand the issue. I explained it takes longer for me to learn something and that I need the tools that help me get information into my head; but that once it’s there I know it. She mentioned taking notes from location to location, so I tried that on the last day (the day she suggested it) which did help some but it would still been a lot faster to have the big map at home to connect the different clusters of buildings (color sections) after I wrote the directions. Just having a way to connect everything would have made this go so much faster, I even tried to use Google maps and a road map, but they didn’t have the information I needed on them. I really want to blame the trainer, but I guess I really can’t; there are so many people who are clueless to alternative learning styles. And our society doesn’t help to educate people. I really think society makes the problem worse, because everything is so fast-paced.
    What I’m really saying in all those words is, they let me go, and now I have to find another job. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119096

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    Oh, @Evelyn, I’m so sorry.

    I know how frustrating it is when you have to educate employers, and doctors, and family members, and so many of them just don’t want to know.  You can’t argue with a closed mind.  And it appears your former employer had a VERY closed mind.

    By refusing to bend its rigid policies, even after seeing they didn’t work for you, and being told what would work for you, that company hurt you…but it hurt itself even more.

    You “only” lost a job (and there’s no “only” about that).

    But that company lost what would have been a very good employee, and it lost potential customers (because you’ll never give it any business, or recommend it to anyone),  and now it has to recruit and train another employee (a very expensive process, so you’d think it would have tried to make the most of that investment in you).

    Is there another company in that line of work, near you?  You might also want to talk to your local employment centre, and the local agency that helps people with disabilities.  They can give you encouragement and advice.

    They might even have some incentive programs for employers who hire people with disabilities.  ADHD is a learning disability, so you may qualify.  At the very least, they can help you to explain to a potential employer that the only difference between you and any other employee is that you learn differently.

    You can do it!

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119100

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Thank you Larynxa, It took a long time to get that job. I do have help through a local guidance center but with my current financial situation I have to rely on the state to pay for services. Actually I think the state runs it. They are really good at giving out the drugs, but they don’t have much in the services dept. Not even for people who are depressed. I have been trying to get coaching or some other structured help that would address the issues I have. The drugs help a little but if I start hyper-focusing on the wrong thing then my whole day is shot. I get really wrapped in the guilt sometimes, it is just so hard to keep on task when you don’t have someone (who understands) to nudge you a little.
    I have lost so much of my self-esteem and confidence over the years, that it’s really nice to hear kind words. My motivation has gone south too. It’s really hard to start over so many times. I used to think I was a professional at starting over and could roll with the punches. If you asked me 15 years ago if I could start over again I would have answered yes with excitement and challenge. I have to say it’s getting really old. I’m 52 years old and as of December 7th, 2013 I am the eldest of the family. I feel I should be able to show more responsibility, but I can’t concentrate enough to do anything right now. I thought a simple little driving job would get me back into the swing of things, not make things worse.
    I know I’ll find something else I just have to muster up the motivation to start plugging away at it again. It just really hurts to be so different.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119103

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Sorry about the pity-party up there.

    You are right, it’s going to cost them a lot of money. And it was a temp service that has a contract with a large corporation. I don’t mean to be cloak and dagger here but I don’t know how much I would be allowed say. I signed a lot of papers.

    I really want a job that would embrace my creativity; I was a sign painter, and a graphic artist. Not formally trained well I was as a sign painter, but I did pretty good as far as the work went. But my problems with relationships kept me from being a good salesman. Plus I have an aversion to making people buy something they may not be able to afford. I have a list of projects that I’ve done that always makes people say “How come you’re not rich” or “You are so creative I’ll bet you could do anything”. Most of them don’t know how many mistakes I made, or how many meals I skipped just to do it. They think hyper-focus is something you can turn off for a minute, or a day, then go back and just pick-up where you left off. No if I stop the hyper-focus it’s gone. I might or might not be able to pick it back up. And I never know when the right time is to take a break from it. I am always afraid that I won’t be able to go back to the task. Sometimes I don’t know when the end is too.

    I’m not too bad a writer either. My English teacher (in collage) said I should pursue an English major. But I’d be lucky to get one article a week. Can’t make much money that way. Although I think I would like to try. I did produce a magazine that was good I did all the copy, art and advertising. My sister helped with the sales. But she came down from Saginaw, she couldn’t stay and help me get the second issue out. I really thought I had something there. Even though it was a lot of work.

    Ok I’m rambling Thank you again for listening and for giving me words of encouragement. I really appreciate it.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119113

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    @Evelyn, it’s not a pity party at all.  Talking to someone about what’s troubling you is the best way to feel better.  Especially when the person you’re talking with has had a similar experience.

    So much of what you’ve described is like what I’ve been through.

    After graduating with a B.A. in English, I had years of bouncing from office temp. job to office temp. job.  (Did you know that temp. agencies take much higher commissions than showbiz agents do, even though they’re doing the same job, just in different industries?)

    Like you, I have plenty of creative skills, but no official credentials to prove it.  This makes me feel inadequate and like an imposter.  It can also make it harder to get hired…but in the arts, your portfolio or demo or audition tend to be more important than what’s on your resume.

     

    You and I both have trouble with the administrative side of being a freelance artist.  All that “distasteful” stuff, like self-promotion, accounts receivable, bookkeeping…  And, of course, getting started and working gradually through a job, instead of waiting until the last minute and just throwing it together in a panic.

    A friend of mine is a freelance writer.  Last year, she was thrilled to be asked to ghost-write the book, “Concussed”, because it meant working on a very worthwhile project with some of the hockey legends she’d always admired.  She also does freelance “lifestyle” articles for magazines and newspapers, and for the Society for International Hockey Research.

     

    You know, Evelyn, now that we have the internet, it’s possible for writers and graphic artists to do work for companies all over the world, without leaving home.  There’s a lot of voice work being done this way too.

    I narrate audiobooks in my tiny home-studio here in Toronto, for a publisher located in British Columbia.  I send them the digital files over the internet; they edit and “sweeten” them, and send them through cyberspace to another publishing company, located in Michigan.  This is just one of my jobs.  I’m also a freelance costumer and singer, and I work as a Captain/Stage Door Keeper at a theatre.

    I love the variety, but the work is sporadic, with some really busy weeks, and other weeks with almost nothing at all.  I have to work as much as I can when it’s busy, and save as much money as possible, to take me through the lean times.  I think I finally have the hang of it.

    As a confirmed singleton, I don’t have a safety net, but I also don’t have a mortgage or car payments or kids to worry about.  So it balances out.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119114

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    @Evelyn, one more thing…

    We’re always comparing ourselves to others, and beating ourselves up for being different.

    Being different from everyone else is really hard.  But, eventually, you realize that it’s much harder NOT to be.

    Besides, around here, you’re not so different at all!

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119117

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    I am finding that out. thank you

    How do we find these jobs (that aren’t scams). I live in Michigan and have never even heard of the publisher who hires people for voice work. Which is how I learn a new subject, I read into a digital recorder then put it under my pillow at night. I recorded My Anatomy and Physiology textbook cover to cover, and my computer concepts book cover to cover plus the instructor lectures, and classroom instructions. It doesn’t sound all that great because I didn’t know about how sound bounced off the walls til I wanted to do my poetry and found that it sounded like I was talking in a tunnel. Plus I also found I wasn’t as good at it as I thought. I had to re-tape many times. I have an incomplete website with the results of my recording experiments on the blog.

    Speaking of my website I have been so bad at it, for the longest time it was really screwed up til someone finally told me how to take the index page off. Now Blue Host has a place holder there, which is a blessing. I keep threatening to finally get it up and useful, so I hyper-focus on it for a day, then something happens and I can’t get back to it for months or years. But I am determined to do it. I know the potential usefulness, I just haven’t gotten the clear format in my head yet. Sometimes when I think of all the work involved I cringe and then become paralyzed, my mind goes blank and nothing creative happens. But the blog simple as it is has a few things on it.

    Am I allowed to put website addresses in the posts?

    Any way if you want to visit my website just let me know and I can send you the info. It’s probably a good way to put my portfolio out there, which has to be organized as it is a hot mess. Getting all this stuff digitized will be quite an undertaking. But it is something I’ve always wanted to do. Both ways actually originals and digitally. Sometimes I think it is just laziness that keeps me from doing it, that was until I found the book “You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid.” or was it the PBS special. Anyway I don’t know which came first for me the book or the video. “The chicken or the Egg paradox” I guess it doesn’t matter, I know now.

    I too, am a singleton no kids, no spouse, but I do have a mortgage but I inherited the family debt, so I have to find some way of making enough money to keep this coveted piece of ground and the lights on. Not an easy task. Everything is up to date, “knock on wood” but I don’t know how long I can keep it up. It’s not especially grand well not grand at all but it is home, my Mothers house “God rest her soul” and I miss her terribly.

    Wow I can sure rattle on, I didn’t realize how much I was typing. Heck I didn’t know I had so much to say. This is refreshing. My friends on Facebook would be jealous if they knew I was so talkative here. Not that I have a lot of friends but the ones I do have have been with me a while. No they do not have ADD and sometimes they are put off by my quirks, fortunately I don’t see them enough to drive them away. Ok, I’ll let someone else talk now.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119118

    MarieAngell
    Member
    Post count: 140

    @Evelyn, this is a difficult situation and I feel for you, but not all hope is lost. As a side note, I suffer from enormous difficulty finding my way around and wouldn’t have  been brave enough to take a job driving like that. So good for you and shame on that company for not finding a way to help you.

    Hyperfocus and motivation are a plague for us. Please bear with me while I suggest 2 things:

    A book about self-coaching by Nancy Ratey,The Disorganized Mind.Your local library may have a copy or be able to get it from inter-library loan. There is also some good  information on the website:

    http://www.thedisorganizedmind.com/adhdselfcoaching/what-is-self-coaching

    Therapists and ADHD coaches tell us ADDers benefit from developing a routine and habits.

    Stanford University behavior researcher BJ Fogg offers a one-week,  free “course” called “3 Tiny Habits.” It’s a way to embed 3 small habits into your daily life by attaching them to a habit you already have. (He explains it pretty clearly.) You sign up on the website (below) and get daily check-in emails. There is no hidden cost or catch–this is part of Dr. Fogg’s research (you can remain anonymous if you wish).

    http://www.tinyhabits.com/

     

     

     

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119123

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Wow, thanks MarieAngell I had heard about Nancy Ratey before, I think in one of my other books on ADD. I’ve had a few. I have been trying to figure out what makes me tic since I was 16; wondering why people didn’t like me. It makes me angry to think my parents knew when I was in second grade but decided they wouldn’t follow up on the diagnosis. I didn’t find out until I was in my late forties. Heck I didn’t even know I was angry about it until recently, not through therapy at least not with a therapist, but through my own efforts.

    Thank you I will check on those.

    PS, I think the only habit I have is not having habits. I fight them tooth a nail I sorta feel like a little rebel when it comes to doing things that I need to do. My mother could never get be to do the dishes in under 6 hours. And still to this day dishes are never completely done. There is always something.

    Sorry got off the subject.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119124

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    @Evelyn, you find work by networking…which is something we tend to have trouble with.  You talk to people working in your chosen industry, and ask them for advice and leads, and so forth.  And you ALWAYS fully investigate any online job postings, before getting involved.

    But before you can start looking for work, you need to find out what your competition is doing, and get your own skills and presentation up to that level.  Otherwise, you won’t have a chance against the people who are already working in that industry.  And THEY have a hard enough time finding work!

    To be treated as a professional, you have to present yourself as one, even if you’re just starting out.  This is hard, when you’re used to “the impostor phenomenon”, which makes you feel like you’re just pretending to be a really good ________, and you’re in constant fear of being unmasked.  It’s this fear that often leads us to procrastinate, as a way of avoiding being judged (including by ourselves) on our work.

     

    I know how daunting big projects can be.  That’s why I have such a long trail of half-completed ones.  But they’re easier once you know the difference between a project and a task.

    Digitizing your artwork is a project, made up of lots of little tasks.  So, make a checklist of those tasks, and schedule a block of time to devote to tackling a couple of them, with no interruptions.  Then, when the time comes, set a timer, and just work on two of them.  When the timer goes off, if you’re on a roll, then keep going.  If you run out of steam, schedule a block of time for another day.

    This works for me.  When I remember to do it.

     

    I’d like to see your website.  There are quite a few of us who work in creative fields—photography, advertising, writing, comedy, costumes, voice work, blogging—so you’re in good company.

     

    If you want to make your own audiobook recordings sound better, you can jerry-rig a studio at home.  Mine is in my storage closet, which is so full of costumes that there’s no echo in it.  You can get a similar effect by hanging up a lot of clothes in your bathroom and recording in there.  No matter how ramshackle it may look, all that matters is that it works.

    You don’t need a special microphone, but if you decide to get one, I use a Blue Snowball USB mic, because it’s good and it’s cheap.  You can get a used one on Ebay for under $50.

    I connect the mic to my laptop and use Audacity as my recording software.  It’s free at http://audacity.sourceforge.net.  It has a lot of “toys” to improve your sound, but if your computer is too slow, your playback will sound like a 78 at 33 1/3.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119126

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Larynxa thank’s. Really good info, I was checking out the info from MarieAngell and it looks like it might help too.

    I do have audacity, and believe it or not they have a book; I have that too. I was at my wits end so I had to learn what was happening to my recordings. The closet sound studio is just what I needed to hear. (Sounds from the bedroom closet) It never crossed my mind; I tried blankets, rugs, barriers, you name it, but something as simple as sitting in the closet didn’t occur to me. But I get it now, that egg-crate design of expensive studio walls had to come from somewhere; must be the peaks and valleys of cloth.

    You are right this is going to be a very large undertaking, I can throw photographs together in a short order but to make a professional presentation will take a lot of discipline and motivation. I am already cringing, and fretting. Mostly because I really do have a deadline; I gotta pay the mortgage, and keep the lights on. You’re right on another topic “networking” ooh that’s a tough one. I tend to talk myself into a corner. I am very slow with wit; I don’t come up with the right thing to say ‘til after the opportunity has passed. People can out-talk me every time. I always loose arguments because I haven’t been able to master the art of thinking on my feet.

    About my website, there isn’t much on it except some writing and poetry and two of the poems has a recording of my voice saying the poem. I haven’t been able to decide on a good enough reason to make a full-fledged website. It started out to be my adventures as a truck driver, but I was too busy driving or sleeping to do anything with it. Now I have a new motivation for the website. I can turn it into an on-line portfolio; at least I think I can. I can try anyway. Ok so here it is bear in mind only the blog portion has anything on it now, and it’s not much, http://www.evvie01.com/blog. Do read “A Bad Day” It’s one of my favorites. Thank you for your interest. I’m so glad this site has spell check.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119129

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    @Evelyn, it sounds like you have several projects here:

    1.)  Find a way to earn enough money now so you can pay your bills on time.

    2.)  Put together the things you need to promote yourself as a writer.

    3.)  Put together the things you need to promote yourself as a graphic artist.

    While (1.) is the most urgent, you should also devote some time to the other two.  Just a bit at a time, and it’ll add up quickly.  When you start getting work, you don’t need to choose just one job.  You can have a bunch of jobs, like me!

     

    As for networking, lots of us actually hate parties, because we have so much trouble with one-on-one small-talk, especially when there are so many other conversations going on around us.  Our brains just can’t filter out what’s important from all the rest.

    What’s really funny (strange, not ha-ha) is how many of us are completely comfortable standing on a stage in front of thousands of people, and talking to them completely off-the-cuff.  But at a party, you’ll find us alone in another room, happily petting the host’s dog or cat.  Jerome Howard (“Curly” of the 3 Stooges) was famous for this.

     

    “The Adventures of a Lady Trucker”  would be quite the book.  If you had kids, you could call it “The Adventures of a Mother Trucker”.

    Or maybe not.

    Did you carry a little voice-recorder and dictate your adventures as you went along?  It’s way faster & easier than trying to write them down.  Even if you were to dictate them now, at least you’ d have captured them, and you could transcribe them (or get someone else to) later.  That’s why lots of writers and comedians carry voice recorders.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119130

    Patte Rosebank
    Participant
    Post count: 1517

    @Evelyn, I visited your blog, and I must say that you do write VERY well!

    Especially that lovely purple prose of “A Bad Day”.  You’ve managed to turn something so awful into a thing of beauty.  That’s a very special talent!

    Looking at your blog, the one thing I’d suggest to improve it is more white space.

    Your post about the triggers for getting lost, etc. is such a worthwhile read, and so is “A Bad Day”.  But you know how daunting a solid block of text is to an ADHD brain!

     

    Fortunately, it’s easy to say, “Out, out, damned SBOT” (Solid Block o’ Text), if you tackle it the way I do:

    1)  I keep my paragraphs short, no more than about 6 lines long.  Then I do an extra carriage-return, to insert a blank line between them.

    2)  Sometimes, I’ll add an extra blank or solid line to denote “and now for something completely different”.  It makes it easier for people to follow the jumps in my train of thought.

     

    When I first started doing this, I wrote first and broke it into paragraphs later.  Now that it’s a habit, I do it as I go along.  It’s worth it, because the easier you can make it for people to read what you’ve written, the more likely they are to read all of it.

    REPORT ABUSE
    #119133

    Evelyn
    Participant
    Post count: 164

    Thank you for looking at my website and saying I’m a good writer. I appreciate the opinion. And I see what you mean about the white space. Too bad my blog doesn’t work like PageMaker or InDesign, or even Corel for that matter. I can move stuff all around in those so I like the way it’s layed out.

    I wouldn’t want someone to glance at that title sideways quick, they might think I’m a “mother” alright but a mother what? ok you’re right lets leave that alone.

    Boy it took me forever to find the photos of me with the rig. It’s been a while I’ve changed the OS on both computers, and since everything was such a mess I just kept it all on DVD the first time then on an external hard drive that is giving me fits the second time.

    Can we put photos on here?

    Well I added some photos and tried to separate the text a little (I mean the paragraphs). I don’t think I’m quite there yet. I’m used to doing print with two or three columns.

    I could learn how to upload PDF’s of print pages.

    It takes me a long time to be happy with the way I have my writing organized, I do a lot of re-writing. Oh much easier on a computer.

    I didn’t know how I wanted to break apart “A Bad Day” so I left it as it was, although I might post it here if it’s ok.

    Is there a place in this website for stuff like that. Pro’s and poetry I mean.

    Another thing, my blog has the nasty habit of being very different from the way I see it as I’m writing it. Sometimes I like it better sometimes it looks terrible.

    As for jobs around here just to pay the bills, it’s really hard I’m a terrible waitress. I know I’ve tried it, I lose those jobs faster than I did the driving job. I really don’t know what I’m going to do at the moment, but I know that what ever it is, it’s got to be really soon.

    With the way our states mental health system is set up it’s easier to get drugs and a state check than it is to get any kind of real help.

    My case manager says that it’s usually all her clients want. I don’t know, if things don’t start working out I might have to do just that. I take food stamps and a little medical but I haven’t gone after a check. I don’t think it would be enough any way.

    Wow 2:00 in the morning, maybe I should go to bed now. Maybe things will be clearer in the morning.

    REPORT ABUSE
Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.