Put In A Box

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Put In A Box 2010-09-06T06:30:32+00:00

The Forums Forums Most X-treme! Pain Put In A Box

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  • #88520
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    When I was in school I had a teacher put me in a box to help me focus.

    She put up one of those tri-fold display boards around my desk and made me sit at the back of the class like that.

    I’m on the verge of tears remembering that span of time. I was humiliated. I was ostracized. It raised my anxiety level and made me slowly start to hate myself. I got kicked out of my original school after being deemed “unteachable” and I came to what I thought was going to be a school that was inclusive.

    I was wrong.

    That was the pivotal moment in my youth that started me on a path of self hatred, acting out by stealing, acting out sexually, lying, smoking, abusing food and choosing toxic people to have in my life.

    That was grade 5…I’m 37 and it still hurts like it was yesterday.

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    #95234
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    Saffron
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    Post count: 140

    ((((hug))))

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    #95235
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Thank-you Saffron!

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    #95236
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    Patte Rosebank
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    Post count: 1517

    @DaynaB, you’re one more example of the damage done by an educational system built on the assembly-line model. Trying to hammer everyone into the same round holes will cause serious damage to any square pegs unlucky enough to get dumped in there. We think differently. We learn differently. And, boy, do we feel differently. But nobody in charge has the time or resources to find out what we really need, and give it to us. Or even to protect us from harm at the hands and tongues of all those evil round pegs.

    When I was in Grade 2, if a kid cried in class, our teacher would send the kid out into the hall. I now see that it was so the kid could pull him/herself together. But, since she never explained that, and since she also sent kids out into the hall as punishment, it always seemed like the kid was being punished for crying. Which is a great way to teach kids to bottle up their emotions—or else. Whether deliberate or not, her actions seemed heartless. And we respond more to how things *seem* than to how they actually *are*.

    It sounds like your teacher, in separating you from the rest of the class, made you feel like you were being punished. Like you’d been put in a pillory, where everyone could see you, and know that you were bad. Not just that you’d *done* something bad, but that you *were* bad, unworthy of mixing with the other kids. If she’d only taken the time to talk to you and your classmates, and explain how this was to help you, not punish you, she would have spared you so much unhappiness.

    She might even have discovered it was actually harder for you to concentrate back there, so she should have moved you up to the front of the class instead. That way, you wouldn’t have been able to see all those other kids, so you wouldn’t have been so distracted by them. You might not have even needed the cardboard screen. Looking across rows of people is a huge distraction. Now I know why I always sat at the very front of the classroom.

    If only she’d taken the time…

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    #95237
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    At one time the educational system is very cruel.

    I barely remember what my elementary school years were like but I do know I was often the target for punishment. I remember there was one incident where I was so out of control I was sent to the principal’s office. After that incident I received a severe beating from my father. I still bare the scars from his belt I struggled through my elementary years.

    I was born as a lefty but I was forced to use my right hand. At one point my handwriting was so poor my father forced me to replicate an entire novel series in proper order in order to “improve” my handwriting with my weak hand. Over time my weak hand became my dominant hand. I had grown up often feeling being different from other children my age. I was often the target for beatings and verbal threats. Could you imagine what that type of abuse will do to a child? Over time I learned to suppress these feelings and started to believe I am not a good person. I became a bitterly angry man with a tendency toward absolute perfection. I had been that way for years until I was diagnosed with ADD. It answered a lot of my questions and started a journey toward healing and maybe one day happiness.

    Educators need to understand the nature of ADD and what it might do to a child. It is one of the reasons why I had found psychology such a fascinating topic. We now know a child with ADD will require more individual personal attention and patient than a normal child. The ADD child will need a well informed family and support system in place as well. These resources will bring the child into a balance and happy life.

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    #95238
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    In grade 7-9 I had the same Social Studies teacher, and every day she put me in a desk in the hallway, ten minutes into class. My French teacher would do the exact same thing in the afternoons. Magically, I passed both courses with exactly 75% grade scores, every semester. So, most likely I failed miserably because I was always ejected from class, learnt nothing, but the teachers felt guilty and handed out the generic marks. That sounds totally ridiculous but it is 100% true. I never new or had even heard of ADHD until I was well into my late teens. Diagnosed at 24. I think even back in the 90’s it was considered BS by most people in the education system. My parents were just left scratching their heads all the time as to why I was so impulsive and disruptive. Whenever I talk about the disorder with my parents, I still get the sense from them that they think it’s all just some lame excuse.

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    #95239
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    I was so lucky to have gone to alternative schools. I never would have made it in normal school. I have a very high IQ – don’t mean to brag, got myself tested – but always got those report cards that said ” could do so well if only she applied herself” kind of thing, great ideas but not developed, kept after school almost every day in grade five to re-copy my work because of my handwriting (which is still terrible).

    But my high school let us learn in our own way. Attendance was not taken, so I went only about half the time. We went at our own speed, so I rushed through Math 11 & 12 in one year, hoping to never have to do math again. But mainly I was able to get up & walk around. I used to even make coffee on the chemistry stove & bring it to lectures ( I always had food & drink at lectures) Lots of labs and “projects” & because it was that era, we experimented with democratic classrooms & often class would be held outside & creativity was rewarded.

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    #95240
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    i had a *special ed* teacher in 3-6 grade who had built three cubical desks that would be removed after the Principal sat in on the class (a parent complained) this happened three times in one year. they were put back up when the rest of the parents started complaining about the drop in grads class wide. how she worked it was the 3 most distracted kids were asked to go to a cubical the other thing that she did was the whole class had to sit comely with there hands together when done with a assignment before the class moved to the next project i still catch my self doing this! i cant thank her enough for this training

    but i try with teachers getting caned as they are i go to all the meeting and speak in her behalf.

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    #95241
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    I really feel your pain, well some what similar… I was diagnosed at age 6 started on Ritalin it helped at school but, mother didn’t want me to be a zombie as she called it and took me off the meds. That was the pivotal moment in my youth that started me on a path of self hatred, acting out by stealing, acting out by being destructive, disruptive, lying, and later… sex, smoking, abusing alcohol, there was always wild turkey, scotch, and wine around the house in the 3rd grade I had a teacher put me UNDER A DESK, yes I said under within the first five minutes of class, and as I recall this I’m shaking so bad it difficult to type.

    She sat on top of the desk and made me stay there for the remainder of the class like that.

    I’m not on the on the verge of tears I’m actually crying remembering that span of time. I was so humiliated. I got kicked out three schools before I was in the seventh grade and my parents and (I use that term lightly) was forced to send me to a private school that was great, the teacher/student ratio 1-15 or so and I excelled much to my delight . I thought life was changing for the better,

    I was wrong.

    After a year a private school and straight A’s I was put back in the public system, and my life literally went to hell, a month into the eight grade I got into several fights, the last one with a teacher and principal who just happen to be black and “Dear ole dad” an extreme racist, abusive, mentally as well as physically and a pedophile, lucky for me his preference was female not so lucky for my old sisters and cousins I found out later.

    I’m now 46 been married for 28 yrs to a wonderful woman, God Bless her and my 3 children, where was I???

    Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

    ~ Sir Winston Churchill

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    #95242
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    laddybug3
    Member
    Post count: 226

    Interesting, my teacher would put up folders for me when we did test and quizzes. She would have pictures on the folders, so when I gaze up to think I would see whales, forests, and other items. She soon realized that the folders help my test anxiety, however did not help me from daydreaming, which made me take the test longer. She even gave chocolate out for everyone who did ten points better on tests or higher then a C. 8)

    She tired hard to help us each learn something new. At first I hated her, because she put me behind folders, but only for tests and quizzes. She was also very hands on. We had some sort of project every month for science and social studies. She also knew I did not like her but at the end I didn’t want to go to the next grade. She even helped me when kids were bullying me. Something my teacher did not do the grade before. Not that the kids didn’t stop bullying me, but they let up.

    A few years later she was let go, because of the way she taught. She really wanted to make sure we understood what we are learning. That just because it came from a book did not mean it was boring.

    She also gave me a packet, because I asked many questions on a topic, a book on insects and environment. She took time for me to explore while continuing on teaching the next installment of learning. I can still remember the planet song she taught us, the skits for different science.

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    #95243
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    deep south………Post Desegragtion ??? It was tuff on everybody, the first grade I actually past was the 7th at the private school and wasn’t placed… I had sever anger issues and 165lbs 5’11 and manhandled grown men weekly RYDC @15 for a eval, and liked it soooo.. much that I stay 29 more 26 of which was in soli

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