July 20, 2012 at 9:20 pm #90885
ashockley55ParticipantJuly 20, 2012 at 9:20 pmPost count: 229
I wish I could do a for real poll! Maybe this is something the people in charge around here could do? Eh? Eh? Maybe?
So, following up on another post where I asked how many of us have traditional, full-time jobs, I am led to ask this broader question.
How do you financially support yourself? Examples:
– work full-time
– work part-time
– rely on a partner/family
– work from home
– own a business
and any combination of the above!
Me, it takes a combination of the disability I receive and part-time work. I barely get my bills paid, and if any extra expenses come up, such as a flat tire, it puts me way out of whack. I also use student loans to help pad my income a little, and getting taxes I paid in excess back every year usually helps out.
Still, it’s tough.
How about ya’ll?REPORT ABUSEJuly 21, 2012 at 1:08 pm #115266
AnonymousInactiveJuly 21, 2012 at 1:08 pmPost count: 14413
I have struggled with holding down a job my entire life. I have worked in life insurance, hotel, restaurant, newspaper, radio, retail business…you name it. I am 40 and rely on both my boyfriend and father for financial assistance. I have naturally struggled with paying my bills, not just due to finances but also disorganization and distraction. It wasn’t until I tripped on the documentary on PBS that I finally started putting the pieces together. Everything in my life, past and present, finally made complete sense. I wasn’t devastated with an ADD/ADHD diagnosis…I was thrilled. Finally I know what the heck has been going on with me and I have been utilizing the tools to organize my life and help me focus. I am a distributor for an MLM company which is an ideal fit for me because I don’t have to punch a clock. I cannot handle a desk job or crazy long hours. Torture. I still have my struggles with schedule but I am slowly overcoming obstacles over the past year that have been constant difficulties throughout my entire life. I am so thankful for the documentary, this website and look forward to a brighter future. Thanks for sharing and for your honesty. I don’t feel quite so alone! = )REPORT ABUSEJuly 21, 2012 at 2:36 pm #115267
AnonymousInactiveJuly 21, 2012 at 2:36 pmPost count: 14413
I’ve worked full time to support myself, then part-time when the kids were young and now I have my own business. I work on a contract basis. At the moment I’m working 7 days a week on two contracts. I get paid well, but the work is inconsistent. My husband who I’m separated from still pays the mortgage on the house, but once it’s sold and he divorce is finalised, I’m on my own. I’ve always been terrible with paying bills on time and I have a problem with impulsive spending, so I’m a bit worried about how I’ll cope as a single mum. But I always know I can come here for good advice – I’ve already been saved from at least one bad decision (if anyone remembers the puppy purchasing incident). I’ve also just joined a local group for adults with ADHD. I have my first meeting next week and I’m really looking forward to it. I can’t wait to experience a room full of adders – I’m hoping for mayhem, with all of us turning up late and talking over the top of one another 😯REPORT ABUSEJuly 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm #115268
AnonymousInactiveJuly 21, 2012 at 4:54 pmPost count: 14413
That is hilarious, RedSquirrel! The part about mayhem, turning up late and talking over one another. I am so happy to connect with other ADDers, especially those with a wonderful sense of humor.REPORT ABUSEJuly 21, 2012 at 11:49 pm #115269
AnonymousInactiveJuly 21, 2012 at 11:49 pmPost count: 14413
Haha, I’ll let you know how the meeting goes RSG.
Getting back on the work front, I did a lot of menial jobs during school and college and absolutely hated it. I felt so bored and was a hopeless shop assistant and waitress. I could never remember orders and was so disorganised- I was fired from one job because i was so bad at it. I have worked full time in office jobs for quite a long time, like 3 to 4 years and found that really boring too. I stuck with it out because of financial necessity and coped only by working towards a specific goal, like saving to travel. The other thing I did was move into different roles within the same company to stem the boredom and still have a decent looking resume.
However (apart from inconsistent money flow) I find working on a contract basis is ideal for my ADHD brain. I get to work on different projects every few months, with different co-workers and different locations. I don’t get involved in office politics or have to sit in on too many boring meetings. Better still, I’m usually hired due to severe staff shortages so everyone is grateful to have me there and will overlook any shortcomings. My focus and productivity have increased a lot since taking medication and working in so many changing situations that keep me interested.REPORT ABUSEJuly 21, 2012 at 11:59 pm #115270
g.laiyaMemberJuly 21, 2012 at 11:59 pmPost count: 116
well, i’ve worked at least part-time it seems most of my life, but never fully supporting myself, even when i worked full-time. always have had to have help from parents or husbands/fiances…
when i was a young adult if i wasn’t away for school i was living with my parents. until my mom told me a few months before turning 25 i could only stay there until my 25th birthday, so i’d better find a better paying job soon (at the time was working maybe half-time for my father but not in school). conveniently just weeks later met a man who asked me to move in just days after i met him – talk about a whirlwind romance! though i worked fulltime during much of that relationship, the money i made working in retail was peanuts – not nearly what i would have needed to live where we were living, drive what i was driving, eat where we were eating, travel where we were traveling,etc. a few years later, much to the relief of my parents, i asked to move back in til i could get my act together a bit (they hated this guy, especially my mom)
soon after, decided to go back to school with the goal of getting my dc., then i met my first husband, and i just worked part-time while in school , not really regularly – also had some money from school loans, so essentially he was supporting me while i was in school and for a while after too, until we got divorced.
didn’t get into a truly fulltime position, but did work 2 or 3 positions at the same time sometimes, sometimes continuing school parttime while working about 3/4 time…..did have a couple times i was in roommate situations, supposedly self-supporting, but used credit cards to fill in the gaps,so to speak, and wound up unable to pay those…
then met my current husband. in the beginning when it was just the 2 of us, we were contributing pretty equally to the household. but then there were also times i wasn’t working like maternity leave, that he was pretty much fully supporting us, as well as times i wasn’t working enough/making enough because the need or money wasn’t there on the part of my employers, and he had to bare much more of the financial burden. then there was about 1-2 years with him during which i was contributing at least as much, if not more, than he was towards our family’s expenses…and that was re-paid by him having a “midlife crisis”, having an affair, and in many ways (though not literally) abandoning me and our 2 kids. isn’t life ironic? but even then, he was the one responsible for getting the rent check in, getting all bills paid on time, etc., where as even when i was making fairly good money, i would lose track/pay bills late/get overdrawn/run out of money before next pay was due etc…..generally i continued to be , as my ex-husband would say, fiscally irresponsible.
now, again, i’m “under-employed/ under-earning” and he’s got all the pressure.
i’m hoping soon things will change for me, i’ll find a better job, get a separate independent biz going too,have better income, be able to make choices based on wants rather than need,etc….well, so we can both make choices based on what we want to do, not out of need, and not feel so much pressure/stress related to money.
because of my fiscal irresponsibility, procrastination, disorganization, and such, i have huge financial hurdles to contend with., including many years of back taxes owed, and student loan payments that, because interest has been capitalized all these years, would equal what some would pay for mortgage and car payments put together. yes, i’m in a really bad situation…..it is simply overwhelming and very depressing…..when i think about it….
tg my unemployment deferment finally came through for my student loans. i’ve been working on updating my resume/cv(albeit in bits and pieces), and last major unpleasant task i need to force myself to do – and soon! – is getting the rest of the info to the tax accountant so they can get things moving on that end……..DREAD that stuff !REPORT ABUSEJuly 22, 2012 at 12:32 am #115271
shutterbug55ParticipantJuly 22, 2012 at 12:32 amPost count: 430
I make my living, working in IT. In the last 27 years, I have had 16 jobs. This would be not too bad, but I have spent about 7-8 of those 27 years unemployed, while looking for my next job. I call it “Looking for my next, last job”. I have never quit a job, because they always get tired of me before I get tired of them.
I can’t retire, because I have lived off all my savings and investments, just to make it where I am today.
I am really good with investments, and spot trends and financial pitfalls very easily. When I work, I put everything into my investments. Which is less and less all the time.
I can’t take vacations, because I have so much debt to pay off, because of the long periods of unemployment. I drive older cars, because I can’t afford to save for a new one, nor can I handle any new car payments. I don’t eat out or watch movies in the theater. I pack my lunch to work, when I work and take the buss to work to save gas.
One time, I was out of work so long, I started scouting out places I could park my car so I could live out of it “While I got back on my feet”
I just found out that I am being under-paid by about $30,000. When I took this job and I didn’t negotiate anything. I was so happy NOT to be on unemployment, I took it. When the economy gets better, who knows? I may quit my first job, to get another!
I have very few if any friends anymore. ADD and unemployment took care of that. I think my friends are convinced the two are contagious.REPORT ABUSEJuly 22, 2012 at 1:01 pm #115272
ashockley55ParticipantJuly 22, 2012 at 1:01 pmPost count: 229
I’m so glad I started this thread, to give everyone a place to maybe vent, and also so that I can feel better knowing that I’m not alone.
Yes, what an entirely ridiculous coupling, the underemployment and/or menial job along with the fiscal irresponsibility.
I, too, am a horrible impulse shopper. Just yesterday I went into a store with a list (literal list) of a few specific things I needed, and then, as if possessed, I found myself going and looking at all kinds of other things. I walked out of there with a cart full of stuff. Partly, it’s driven by my perfectionism. I’m never pleased with anything, always looking to do/get something better.
That idea of trying to only get what I need instead of what I want rang so true. Just thinking about it makes me depressed, though.
I, too, have the experience of running out of money every month, and the horrible overdraft fees! It is so frustrating and embarrassing. It makes you feel like a total loser.
I know I am capable of bringing in so much more money than I do, but I have not been able to sustain any professional job, despite my education and talents.
So, everybody, I hear ya.
I realize this was probably a sensitive (read: nosy) question to ask, but I’m so glad that others opened up and answered.REPORT ABUSEJuly 26, 2012 at 10:23 am #115273
CarryParticipantJuly 26, 2012 at 10:23 amPost count: 119
I’ve always had a full-time job until I cut back to working 4 days a week when my son was born, 5 years ago. My wife is very well organized and I’m sure she’s the one that kept me on track. I have no idea if I would have even started my career if she wasnt there to support me. She has also been employed full time, while studying, and keeping our household and our finances and our social life going. She’s a wizard!
After I started taking my meds, (about a year ago, I guess) I’m doing much better, so now my wife can let go of the leash, so to speak. She can finally let go of the responsibility of keeping ME organized. That’s the role that grew on her, after getting into a relationship with me. She’s now able to be forgetful and disorganized at times. Must be a great relief for her, even though it confuses her sometimes.
We’ve been together for 20 years and I admire her greatly for pulling the weight for so long.
I’ve been focussing on me, during my ‘dealing with depression and ADD’ phase, obviously. It took a lot of work and it still does. I’m lucky enough to have such an amazing person in my life and I’m lucky enough to realize that too!REPORT ABUSEJuly 26, 2012 at 11:54 am #115274
ashockley55ParticipantJuly 26, 2012 at 11:54 amPost count: 229
Yeah, I’ve heard that two keys to living well with ADD are finding the right job and the right person.
I’m not…..right…in either respect.
I know relationsips aren’t all the time a bed of roses, even the good ones, but I get so lonely, and many times I wish I had someone to help and support.
But, on the job front, at least I know now what the mechanisms were that have caused me to struggle with my employment in the past. I want to do more with my life than work as a waitress, but now I also know I’ve got to be very careful that any job I take in the future is a good match for me and my ADD.
Maybe I should start another thread asking about the qualities that make a person a good partner for someone with ADD. Then I can copy and paste the answers into a personal ad.REPORT ABUSEJuly 26, 2012 at 12:35 pm #115275
CarryParticipantJuly 26, 2012 at 12:35 pmPost count: 119
During those 20 years, I’ve often wondered if she was right for me, or if I was right for her. (I’ll probably continue to do so)
You get the “20 year relationship” mark at the end of those 20 years! After a week, it’s only a week. It can become 20 years, but you’ll know for sure…. after 20 years.
So don’t focus on the “long term” or even the “relationship”. There’s others who can help and support.
Besides, the only thing an ad would have to say: “The willingness to get to know me.”
Compatibility is something that you and a potential loved one will create for yourselves.
(I still don’t know what I want to become when I grow up)REPORT ABUSEJuly 26, 2012 at 6:04 pm #115276
ashockley55ParticipantJuly 26, 2012 at 6:04 pmPost count: 229
Ah! The willingness….I suppose that means I have to have the willingness to be known. Ack! That’s scary.
Good point on the fact that there are others who can help and support. I need to reach out more to friends.
I do know what I want to be, and in many respects I already am that (a writer), I’m just not currently being paid to write.
I’m being paid to deliver fried foods to people’s table at their beckoning. And ranch dressing. Vats and vats of ranch dressing.REPORT ABUSEJuly 27, 2012 at 1:43 am #115277
mr squabadooMemberJuly 27, 2012 at 1:43 amPost count: 6
what kind of writing do you want to get paid for, ashhockley555?
literally ten minutes ago, I pondered the possibility of writing for a living.
I’ve always wanted to contribute to humanity in some way that would outlast me and everyone I know. A couple of years back I decided that a technological or scientific product of some kind would enable me to do just that, but as I take calculus-based physics today, I’m thinking that those who enjoy working with gadgets and/or reading science books in their free time are better fitted to be engineers.
how have you guys maximized your ability to concentrate and be productive when you have work to do? (sorry to change the subj… I have mild ADD >.<)
when I tell myself ‘I will finish this task right nowww,’ I find myself daydreaming before I know it.REPORT ABUSEJuly 27, 2012 at 1:10 pm #115278
ashockley55ParticipantJuly 27, 2012 at 1:10 pmPost count: 229
I’m a poet. Not….exactly….a big market for that, but, ehhhhhh. It’s what I do. I’m in a M.F.A. program now; got about a year to go, and my thesis is starting to form up.
I hope to publish, publish well, and publish enough that I might be valuable as part of a faculty teaching creative writing somewhere. So, teaching, but, in a situation that’s a lot different than my previous teaching experiences.
And definitely not waitressing.REPORT ABUSEJuly 30, 2012 at 1:03 am #115279
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