September 16, 2016 at 1:30 am #128070
tanpixMemberSeptember 16, 2016 at 1:30 amPost count: 6
I”m 40 – I’ve suffered anxiety all my life, the other day I was at my Dr’s – I’ll keep this as short as I can; we were talking about my hypochondria and she was filling in a form so I could see a therapist. She looked at my chart and said, ‘ Have you ever thought you might have ADHD?’ – My Dads wife is a nurse and thinks ADHD is a made up illness to help fit people into boxes. Anyway I said, of course not, I’m calm, I can sit still.- she explained that’s necessarily ADHD. I went home did a test, the whole time I was thinking – wait isn’t everyone like this?
My whole life I’ve been incredibly forgetful, will start projects never get them finished, my school reports were always, lovely student, needs to focus, I get bored so easily and frustrated even more easily. My brain fog is so thick sometimes I can’t even get started. I go through all my thoughts in frustration as I can’t pick one thing to do and then when I do start, I get overwhelmed and have a bath and then try again, I live off coffee. No matter how hard I try to get organized and I really try, I never am. I forget meetings, I forget to pay my bills, I”m forever saying ‘ oh crap!….’ I leave water running all the time and flood the house, I’ve left my wallet more times than I can remember on my car – yet I’m an intelligent woman and i’ve done some great things in my life. I just can’t get organized, or motivated. And i have a thousand and one creative ideas! I’ll start one thing and go .. oh this would be great and then start that! I tried studying once but I couldn’t continue, words going in from the lecturer just didn’t make sense, the reading was so god damn intense and studying actually hurts my brain.
…. The therapist also said, by the way – interesting your Dr said that, I would say that you definitely have it = let’s do some tests … What are the tests?
Sorry to just blab, but I kinda feel better after doing all the online tests and reading about it – it makes sooo much sense!!!!!REPORT ABUSESeptember 18, 2016 at 12:11 pm #128082
hstewMemberSeptember 18, 2016 at 12:11 pmPost count: 9
Can totally relate. The thing that kills me is that if we’d been born *boy* creative geniuses with forgetful and sloppy tendencies, we’d already have found understanding women to take care of all the mundane crap we can’t seem to wrangle on our own and allow the genius part to soar. Society is tough on women with ADHD. Stress saps your creative energy. So, just try to be gentle with yourself and set some realistic expectations with regard to fashion and style. Focus on the important stuff. Avoid leaving the house in a tizzy because of a dumb old fancy wardrobe snafu. Get a functional, comfortable, tag-free, easy-care wardrobe together that all matches so it won’t matter what’s clean or what’s dirty. There’s tons of this stuff in style right now, so you’re in luck! Comfort and confidence are sexy in any outfit. Have a small number of special outfits put together only for special occasions and give yourself twice or three times as much time as you think you need to get ready for those times. Keep your make-up and hair routines simple.
Choose and stick with special spots for all the important things you tend to lose. I hung a little basket off the inside front doorknob to keep keys and sunglasses in and then picked special spots in my purse for these items and others and it has made a HUGE difference.
Pay yourself compliments as often as possible. Celebrate the small victories. 🙂 Take the time to soothe yourself when things don’t go your way. Simplify and save your energy for rocking the world with your awesomeness. Hope some of this helps. Hang in there!REPORT ABUSESeptember 18, 2016 at 2:42 pm #128084
tanpixMemberSeptember 18, 2016 at 2:42 pmPost count: 6
THanks fo rresponding! I see it’s very slow around here, i thought this would be a great place to get answers but so nice to hear from you. I hear you about placing things in the same place all the time, I have set something similar up but I still lose my keys, my phone – everything. I try so hard to stay organized, I have about 10 different boosk for all my lists but – i lose the books. Then I buy another book for lists. I can’t use the computer as it drives me crazy writing down on the computer, I need things I can touch and smell. I sometimes don’t even know how to start my day when I’m super busy and I get up and am exhausted already with all the thoughts of what to do and where to start. I really hope I can get some answers from my Dr and Therapist soon, not sure I wnt to take drugs but I at least relaly feel like I have some answers now and that makes me feel so much better.
There are definitely some pros to having add – creative, compassionate, funny, 😉
I don’t think ti’s all bad it’s just about making sure you can work in society a bit better.I have my own job as there is no way I could work for anyone else. I’ve had more jobs than I care to remember and I’ve been fired from almost all of them, one was doing accounts and omg, I was Terrible!!!! I think I quit that one, I’m now in a creative field – my own business, suits me much more but still struggle and I don’t want to anymore, I just want to make lots of money, be organized and be me!
xoREPORT ABUSESeptember 20, 2016 at 1:04 pm #128085
hstewMemberSeptember 20, 2016 at 1:04 pmPost count: 9
Yeah, agree that it’s a bit slow around here. Where did everyone go? I wonder…
Kudos to you for staying positive! I really think the key to improvement for you is going to be finding ways to simplify your life as much as possible so you have fewer things to deal with overall. It’s going to have to be something you whittle away at until you just one day realize things are feeling a lot better. Most likely won’t be an overnight, massive change.
Lists are such a pain. I like to put mine on my smartphone and I use a really simple Google app called ‘Keep.’ It’s free, has a search function, and is accessible from the computer if I can’t find my phone. Hah! I know you said you don’t like using computers, but I love it for things like grocery lists and daily to-do lists.
Here’s another idea: treat this as if it were your best friend’s life in chaos and you were trying to be helpful and make things better for him/her. Ooh, a shiny *new* project! We like those. Quick, bust out some posterboard and fat colored markers! 1) Identify issues, 2) Identify potential solutions. And it’s open-ended! Be creative! Get excited! And then try putting some of your ideas into practice. Keep tweaking until you start feeling less chaotic and twirly. 😀 Or until you get bored with it, of course. LOL 😉REPORT ABUSESeptember 20, 2016 at 1:16 pm #128086
ScattybirdParticipantSeptember 20, 2016 at 1:16 pmPost count: 1096
Hi tanpix – you’re right, it is slow on the forum these days. It didn’t used to be, but the layout of the site/forum changed and to be honest it’s not as user friendly now so we’re all pretty much giving up with it. Well I can’t speak for others, but before the changes the forum was buzzing. Anyway….. I won’t get started on THAT one or I’ll go into rant mode.
Your description of yourself could be of me. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in my late 40s and I think I became more aware of all the fog and losing things and everything you describe as that decade went on. With hindsight I was always like that, but somehow it was more obvious after 40. I don’t know if that was related to my age or if I just had more things to bother about then, or both.
You asked about tests. There are several on-line tests and they are similar to the ones your doctor will ask you to do. When you get assessed you will need to fill in the tests and probably a member of your family or a friend will do so too (at least that’s what happened to me).
You will also have an interview and the doctor/psychiatrist will decide based on those tests and your history whether you have ADHD or not. At least that’s what happened to me. I would say to be a little careful though. I didn’t realise that once I had a diagnosis it meant I had to tell my car insurers and the driving licence authority. It didn’t matter because they decided I could keep my licence, but now I have to declare this at work to drive work vehicles, although they are satisfied with my letter from the DVLA saying they are allowing me to drive! So I got away with declaring my ADHD. So there are possible consequences to having the diagnosis. BUT, none of them were of any consequence really, just a bit of additional stress I wasn’t prepared for, and overall I am glad I got assessed.
Like you I wasn’t sure about medication. I will say that meds have helped enormously. I don’t take them all the time, just when I am particularly in need of being pointed in the right direction. I think the meds helped me get into some good habits which have stuck, although some days are just ridiculous! I still manage to sometimes walk out the front door half dressed on a morning, but fortunately I realise that’s not a good look for work before I get to the car.
hstew gave some good advice and insights. When I feel overwhelmed with how much I have to do in a day I try to stick to just one or two key tasks. I can’t prioritise from a standard ‘to do’ list, but I forget things if I don’t have one. So I select a couple of things from that main list and write them elsewhere in big letters so they are always visible. That helps me focus…..to some extent.
Your doctor might be right and it’s worth getting an assessment. It’s a spectrum disorder and not always linked with hyperactivity. You need to check that nothing organic is wrong – e.g. thyroid function going wrong can give similar symptoms. But if all is well physically, it sounds like ADHD.
Welcome to the tribe! 🙂September 21, 2016 at 3:42 am #128087
tanpixMemberSeptember 21, 2016 at 3:42 amPost count: 6
Thanks EVeryone!!!! So nice to come back and read these messages and to know I’m not alone… interesting that once diagnosed it can change insurance and everything, I didn’t think of that, not sure I want the diagnose now – as will it really change anything, outside of having to pay more as I get more distracted. 😉
Speaking of, it tooks me ages to get started today. I woke up with brain fog and thought oh no … here we go … I couldn’t do anything, at one point I was just standing in the hallway thinking, ‘what am I doing?’ – I didn’t even know, then I made myself clean up and got distracted 1000 times over. Brain fog is the hardest thing for me, I run my own company and self motivation – wow …. that’s always been a huge challenge for me .. I sometimes of moments of intense focus, I’ll forget to eat, or go toilet or drink and I get so much done but even those are not healthy, it’s about finding a middle ground isn’t it. I’ve done a few things that help though, I’ve attached my wallet to my bag – so I can’t actually lose it now. I’ve got my eftpos cards hidden in different places around the house and car , so if I do happen to lose my wallet I’ve always got a card handy. I have post it notes stuck everywhere – turn of the heating iron, check you’ve got your keys, your phone, child … JUST JOKING! 😉 I’m a single Mum but a great Mum, and i would hate for a diagnose to mean someone could tell me I was a bad Mum. It’s hard having this forgetful, excitable, depressed, anxiety, unmotivated, creative, too many thoughts at once kinda brain… tell me does anyone go to bed at night to find their mind just wont be quiet and sometimes it’s get to the point where you feel as though you’re being taken over? It’s quite scary for me sometimes at night, my thoughts just wont stop and then they all seem to over lap… weird.
Much love everyone – thank you!!!REPORT ABUSESeptember 21, 2016 at 1:12 pm #128088
ScattybirdParticipantSeptember 21, 2016 at 1:12 pmPost count: 1096
Hi tanpix – I hope I didn’t mislead you WRT the insurance thing. I haven’t had to pay extra for insurance, I just had to declare it. The driving licence thing worried me when I realised but that was OK in the end. Also, it might be different where you are. It was just something that worried me at the time because it wasn’t something I had anticipated. It all turned out OK. I do not regret getting my diagnosis.
I admire you being self employed and running your own company. I have an employer, but am pretty free so it’s not too bad. I tried to work at home today but just hyperfocused on computer games. Oops.
Your comment about going to bed at night is so true. I can be so tired and the minute my head hits the pillow my brain wakes up and buzzes. I listen to audiobooks and try to focus on the story. Lack of sleep makes it worse of course. Ironic!
I’d better do some work now that I’ve finally realised the day is gone!September 22, 2016 at 9:22 am #128089
hstewMemberSeptember 22, 2016 at 9:22 amPost count: 9
Just saw this video and thought you guys might like it:
“Is ADHD An Advantage?”
(Looks like I added the wrong link, earlier. Oopsie. Ha! Fixed now!)REPORT ABUSESeptember 22, 2016 at 1:48 pm #128092
ScattybirdParticipantSeptember 22, 2016 at 1:48 pmPost count: 1096
Thanks for posting this hstew. I was wondering what to get with my Audible vouchers and now I know. 🙂 I keep forgetting I subscribe to two a month and they build up. I discovered they take them away after 12 have accrued, which is naughty since I pay for them so surely they shouldn’t do that? Maybe it’s just as well though because I have a zillion unlistened to books and I finally remembered yesterday to drop my subscription down to one a month until I get back into it.
Anyway, aside from that, it’s a nice clear video. It’s interesting that people often cite evidence that prescriptions for Ritalin etc. have increased over the last few years. I wonder how much of that is due to more people medicating their children (which is inferred) and how much is a result of a growing acceptance of adult ADHD? Just a random thought.
I guess the advantage of ADHD is only if one is at the less severe end of the spectrum. Thinking outside the box, having spirit and being able to multitask are great attributes. But if the ADHD is so severe that daily functioning is just too exhausting then maybe it’s not such an advantage. I guess it’s all relative and we’re all different.September 23, 2016 at 3:12 pm #128105
tanpixMemberSeptember 23, 2016 at 3:12 pmPost count: 6
Funny I have to have an audio book at night or listen to something so my mind will focus and not runaway.
I also wonder, I get this strange sensation in my body, it’s almost like an electric shock runs through my head, kinda strange, the Dr has said it’s always just anxiety I wonder now if it’s charges of adrenalin from ADD … anyone else get it?
Thanks for the video will watch it now!
There are advantages – you know my life has been a bit easier now that I feel as though ADD makes sense… I have a friend who told me teh other day that she has it and takes ritalin? Not sure I’ll take that but it’s nice to have someone who understands it as well.REPORT ABUSESeptember 23, 2016 at 3:54 pm #128106
tanpixMemberSeptember 23, 2016 at 3:54 pmPost count: 6
I dont’ have hyperactivity – though to be fair I have moments of it, like right now whilst taking a long shower, the desire to clean the shower came over and man I was amazing at cleaning that shower – those moments are rare and few between the focus is always intense when those moments come, I wont have to clean the shower for months now! 😉 Wish that focus was still there to do the actually house as well!REPORT ABUSESeptember 25, 2016 at 4:56 pm #128107
hstewMemberSeptember 25, 2016 at 4:56 pmPost count: 9
@tanpix, that is too funny about the shower thing. That’s usually how my shower gets cleaned. I decide it’s finally too gross to get clean in, spray it down with cleanser, throw on some shower shoes, then scrub it before I scrub me. Hah! Much easier to rinse it all down when you’re in there with the shower head going, isn’t it? 😀 And no clothes to ruin with the bleach! Probably not the best idea to breathe in all those fumes, but…well…shower’s clean!!!
@scattybird, glad to help. I honestly didn’t pay much attention to the audible.com ad at the end other than to jot down the name and author of the book. But, since you pointed it out, I may look into checking out a membership for myself! Audio books rock. Best way to keep the road rage down, IMHO. Also a fun way to put yourself to sleep at night with a good story, although that leaves us with the issue of having to try to figure out where exactly I fell asleep… hehe! BTW, thanks for the sympathy in the other post. Much appreciated. 🙂REPORT ABUSE
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