Not diagnosed yet but it fits so well–

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Not diagnosed yet but it fits so well– 2010-11-30T04:07:57+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! I Suspect I Am Not diagnosed yet but it fits so well–

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  • #96640
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    g.laiya
    Member
    Post count: 116

    been reading these posts since i found this site ,thanks to the pbs show, and often feel like i’m reading a page from my diary…not that i keep one for fear of someone else reading it and knowing my secrets, but you get the idea…..sometimes i’m chuckling, sometimes tears, often just thinking “yep…uh huh…..”

    so very very glad to find a place to connect with others who “march to the beat of a different drummer”, hoping this will lead to finding a way(s) to a better life

    ps not diagnosed, but i have very strong feeling …..it seems to fit well

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    #96641
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    HELLO! I’m back again! I’m 52 now and STILL working hard on mastering the ADHD stuff. Hope you are all doing well too. I can’t stand sitting still here though, so I’m off to a workout. My family doesn’t really get it, but my kids are trying. The one with ADHD too REALLY does get it and is supportive, even tho my hyper ways drive him batty. He is not hyper like me. I wish they would all sit and watch the videos (ADD and Loving it and ADD and Mastering it) that would help them GET IT! One more thing – I uploaded the wrong photo for my profile pic, hahahaha! So, since thet seems like a typical thing I would do, I guess I’ll leave it that way. Have a great Labor Day weekend my fellow ADDers.

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    #96642
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    I have been wandering around the site trying to work out where to post. This will do. Correct me please if this is wrong.

    I wish the latest posts appeared on the first page of each thread!

    Anyhoo. A quick introduction is required before I ask for some advice. I will give a brief summary of my condition too, as it helps to share! Its so great to find I am not alone!

    I am 44 (birthday yesterday) and I live in New Zealand (NZ as we call it). I am convinced I have ADD but I now need to convince the specialist psychiatrist I have been referred to. It seems to me that in NZ we are a little behind the times in understanding and treating ADD.

    I have been suffering from various degrees of depression for about 15 years. I was on my 3rd different variant of SSRIs and while they numbed the pain I was getting no where near ‘curing’ it if that is at all possible. This included numerous psychologists / coaches and counsellors and thousands of dollars of fees. My current partner decided to get a little more intrested in my condition and started to push me to be a little more active in trying to ‘solve’ the problem. I love her for that, but as a lot of you will know it takes a brave partner to help us deal with some of these issues. I am very sensitive to ctiricism and anger quickly (ahh – it all makes sense)

    So about 8 weeks ago I went back to the doctor and repeated some of the well scripted lines that my partner told me to say. The doctor was yet another locum provided by the medical clinic I attend in a sleepy suburb of Wellington (the capital of NZ). (Only 200,000 people live here – which might help explain the scale of the problem)

    It seemed however that I got lucky – the doctor seemed genuinly interested and decided we should experiment a little. I was shocked but quickly agreed. (this history seems way longer than I thought it would be but I am determined to finish this – I am sure my story will be of help to others in similar sittuations).

    So the first thing she recomended was to double the dose of Citalopram that I had been on. There was a significant effect – I felt nauseous and the sexual disfunction got un-mangeable (ask me privately if you want to know more – I am happy to share, but dont want to offent the more sensitive). I was overjoyed with the result – finally I felt different, for years I have not felt different on the drugs.

    The doctor told me to wait three weeks and see if the side effects wore off. So returning to the doctor a few weeks later we agreed that we should yet again change the medication. My partner had been busy researching alternative drugs and I went along with aa recomendation of my own. There are all sorts of names for the drug internationally and I think in the USA it is called Welbutrin. It is available in NZ, but only for people trying to give up smoking – go figure?!

    Anyway, this is where I got lucky again – the doctor siad she would be happy to try it – off label, but only if I went to see a psychiatrist friend of here who had prescibed the drug in Canada, where she had lived for a few years. So I trotted along enthusiastically to see a psychiatrist. That was new for me – and I wasnt really aware of the difference.

    The session began normally and I repeated the long and uninteresting history of my depression. The psych seemed to ask all the usual questions and then she summed up the session by saying she though the new drug would be worth another go. But here is the new insight – she also said she though I had ADHD. I laughed. How could I have ADHD, I am a very successful IT consultant, I am just miserable.

    So she asked me to take a brief test and I filled out the form. She quickly read the assessment and told me I had marginal symptoms but probably didnt have ADHD since there were no hyperactivity symptoms and I didnt show any signs as a young child.

    Time moved on, a few weeks go by, and the ADHD idea kept on returning to me. I didnt tell anyone about it, but then I received the formal letter from the psychiatrist, copied to me and my Dr describing the session and she did mention the marginal ADHD symptoms. This was the first time I had mentioned it to my partner and she was angry with me. It seemed such a trivial point to me, but luckily my persistant partner wasnt going to let go of this bull’s horns. She went and did more research and found this site and a number of others that talked about the inattentive subtype of ADHD.

    Reluctantly I came online and read and read and read and researched and read. I understand now – I can hyperfocus. WOW. Its so cool when it is applied to something useful.

    Anyway to cut a long story short I absolutely know that I have ADD with none of the hyperactivity symptoms. I was a gifted child and didnt hit the wall until my teens. However I remember hitting the wall as if it was yesterday. I have suffered deeply from this condition all my life and it has had serious ramificatios for 30 odd years.

    I am sure I share many feelings with others who have been diagnosed later in life. Anger, frustration and a question of what if I had been diagnosed earlier. What a waste of energy and emotion.

    But I also count myself very lucky, my inate intelligence has allowed me to be successful in life, by most people’s measures. But I am miserable. I feel quite guilty about complaining about this situation. A friend of mine , said to me the other day that most people in NZ would swap their lives with me. Haha, if he only knew. Its hard to explain it to those without the condition.

    So the question – what now? I have made a repeat appointment with the psychiatrist for a weeks time. How do I convince her? I dont know who else to talk to. She came the closest to work out what was wrong, but she has not quite completed the diagnosis. But I feel an enormous debt to her for getttng so close.

    What experiences have people had with this situtation? What should I do? what should I say?

    Or maybe, by chance someone else in NZ has found a sympathetic clinician to help?

    Sorry for the ramble.

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    #96643
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    nellie
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    Post count: 596

    julestnz

    I recently downloaded the book Lifting the Fog: A specific guide to inattentive ADHD in adults [Kindle Edition] from Amazon as an e-book.

    http://www.amazon.com/Lifting-Fog-specific-inattentive-ebook/dp/B007INO7B0

    Although I’m of the ADHD variety my daughter is the inattentive type which is why I started reading it. But to be honest haven’t gotten very far so can’t really offer an opinion on it. However, you can always order it in the old fashioned book format if it isn’t available for download in your region.

    Anyway, I would bring any books etc that describe the inattentive type with you. I suspect if the Psych is already open to the existence of ADHD then this should be a worthwhile exercise . Also point her to this site and it’s resources.

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    #96644
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    Robbo
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    Post count: 929

    Great!, another excellent thread to read.

    Wow billd, that car is eye candy, I get a kick out of reading older threads. I too “got saved” watching that ADD and Loving It?! thing on PBS, they just got another 65 bucks from me last night for Dr Fuhrmens DVD about eating healthy. Our diet is a big part of the solution.

    I can relate to soooo many of the people in this thread. We have a lot in common Trashman. For you it’s Fibromialgia/nerve damage. For me it’s never damage from the SCI. I tried Neurontin twice. Made me too zombied out. (twice cuz of the way we have a hard time giving up…) Neuropathic pain sucks. But talking about it never helps. Just gives it more attention. I can relate to how too much activity makes it worse. Not good. But the ADHD is a bigger problem. So I’ll try harder to get out and exercise.

    For tired, n sleepy types here’s a possible solution. I’ve read a few times before that people with ADHD or just the symptoms should get their thyroid checked. That’s the main reason I decided to reply to this. My general practice doc tested my thyroid about 4 or 5? years ago and sure enough I have hypothyroid. That’s a factor in why I sometimes get tired really easily, yet I can still ramble on and on… That’s just my weirdness… Some days if I don’t take it I can definitely tell a difference, less energy mainly. In fact, if I’m in pain from too much activity. I’ll skip a dose of the levothyroxin and just stay in bed. Not moving is one way to avoid the neuropathic pain.

    I force myself to exercise usually. Not lately. But the rut I’ve been in is forcing me to get my butt outside, and exercise. Getting my heart rate up and breaking a sweat is one of the best ways there is to get the dopamine flowing. All the times in my life that the ADHD was less of a problem were when I was exercising. The body building, surfing, road biking, mountain biking, etc. Now, I just need to get my all terrain wheelchair out of my closet. Any exercise is good.

    I feel for you kaotic kelly. Good job on the working out. I hope you can get your family to watch those video’s, I was disappointed when I showed it to one of my only good friends and he didn’t get it. AT ALL!. Not everyone is capable of understanding such a different way of thinking.

    julestnz,

    you’re well on your way. I know it’s been a long hard road to get this far. But I can tell you it definitely gets better. Focus on the solutions. In addition to getting the book nellie talked about, I suggest taking the Virtual Doctor test here, print it out. Then just follow the directions about customizing the result to fit your type of ADD as well as you can. Hopefully the doctor will be willing to get some education. I take wellbutrin, it works great along with methylphenidate (generic ritalin). I used to take SSRI meds, I’m still working through some anger n frustration about all the wasted years taking the wrong medication, at least I’m alive :-). The future is definitely bright for you. Stick around okay?. We like it when people show up unhappy, and later end up telling us how much better their life has become. I’ve had more ups than downs. The downs are less, and don’t last as long these days.

    No worries about rambling on. You fit right in here, some of my posts can be like small books!. If you can’t sleep, just search around here for one of my long ones. You’ll be out like a light :-)

    Peace

    9-10-12

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    #96645
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Thanks for the replies. Nellie, I got the book immediately and added it to about 5 others I am ‘reading’ at the moment. Its good to find one on the inattentive type. Its very good so far.

    Robbo, I appreciate the support. I have already read a few of your posts during my lurking in the last few days. They are great. I actually went to your profile to find a few more of you’re posts a few days ago. Consider me stalker!

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    #96646
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    Robbo
    Member
    Post count: 929

    LOL, AACK! Ohhnooooooh… Aye, good 4 you on doing all the reading. Dat’z a lotta books :-)

    It’s cool, Ahv been stalked before. Easy come easy go. I appreciate the attention!

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    #96647
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    Scattybird
    Participant
    Post count: 1096

    Hi julestnz – to follow on from nellie’s suggestion of the book “Lifting the Fog” …..my psych diagnosed me as ‘predominantly inattentive’ and that confused me a bit because I have traits that I had thought of as belonging to the combined type – but I am not hyperactive and never have been. But ‘predominantly’ is the key word.

    There is very little information out there that is specific to the inattentive type. Anyway, I bought the Kindle version of Lifting the Fog. If ADHD is new to you it’s a good starting point. It’s an easy read and not too long.

    The thing about ADHD is although one can have the inattentive type, there can be some traits such as impulsiveness that can also be present. So the boundaries can be blurred.

    However, having read the book, I think my psych was right. But some of the things I do that I thought were typical of the combined type are more likely to be reflections of anxiety derived from being inattentive, e.g. fidgeting, being hot tempered.

    So there were parts of the book which were real ‘ah ha’ moments for me and I had another perspective on some of my behaviours.

    In conclusion, it’s a quick read and it’s nice to read something that is aimed at us inattentives.

    The author compared the inattentive and the combined types in a shopping mall. The combined type will rush around and go into a glitsy shop and spend lots of money, whilst the inattentive type will wander around, get lost in some thought and forget why they went to the mall in the first place.

    The best thing you can do before you have any more consultations is do the quiz on this site. It’s a good starting point.

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    #96648
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    kc5jck
    Participant
    Post count: 846

    There’s a good test at http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm

    Here’s some other tests to take along with the one above to find out if you are Totally screwed up as well as TotallyADD. 😉

    Well, I keep adding to this with the edit. I took the “Loneliness” quiz from the above site and got a 22, one point above the normal range. I think that was because of questions like “how often do you feel misunderstood?” Well DUH, with ADHD the answer is like “most of the time.” I can see that the significance of this question varies according if a person has ADHD or not. There were other questions which I felt skewed the results as well.

    Anyway, yhere are a lot of us who are loners or at least have that tendancy, of which I am one. Anyone want to take the test, report back, and comment.

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    #96649
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    KC5jck. Yeah, thanks for that. I took that test as part of my ‘research’ a few days ago. I scored 80, with 70+ being the ‘pass mark’. lol

    Its been a long few days with most of my waking hours being hyperfocused on understanding my condition. Just finished reading Stacey Turis’ book about her ADHD. Lots of LOL-moments and tears. Very funny and also eye-opening. I was really sad when I finished the book, its like losing a friend since she is so open and honest about her life. Now I am on Dr Thomas Brown’s book. Really good too, with a very calm, scientific approach.

    Scatty – thanks for that. I understand. The descriptions and boxes that we assign to ourselves are all to do withe ‘usual’ behaviours , reactions and feelings. The typical inattentive person doesn’t exist, we are all different.

    The impulsivity has really caused me some issues. Even leaving my wife on impulse. I know that sounds ridiculous, but in hindsight I just didn’t think it through.

    And then there is the hot temper. I grew up with my father being hot tempered, not in a really bad way, but it was there. In never got violent, just angry. I think it made me awatre of it as I grew up and I always thought I had it under control. In the last 5 years I have seen my hot-headedness get worse and worse. Possibly due to ther ongoing frustrations as my ADD got worse and worse. I think that depression and ADD are curious bed-fellows. They feed each other and put me in to a downward spiral. Anyway – I digress, LOL

    I agree that we have symptoms that blur and overlap the boundaries that the experts define. Its not a criticism of the definitions, we need these lines drawn in the sand, but like you I have rubbed out the lines while dancing / stamping on the beach.

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    #96650
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    ipsofacto
    Member
    Post count: 162

    Jules, it might be worth researching the regulation of emotions in ADHD. My experience is that although you can develop your own ways to manage the more logical deficits of undiagnosed ADHD PI, the ability to regulate emotions and the responses they give rise to, is not something that comes naturally. Do you respond well to criticism, do you have problems with bossy people, do you get angry with other drivers?

    Another way to look at it is, can you trust yourself if you go through the day on auto-pilot? Does your conscious mind have to be in control to minimize errors?

    Part of the problem with going so long undiagnosed, seems to be that we take it for granted that everyone else faces the same challenges that we do. To a some degree of course they do; the big difference is that we have top work much harder to overcome ours (if we can).

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    #96651
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    LOL. Michael Carr – the Lifting the Fog author lives in New Zealand. So we do have some enlightened people here.!!

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    #96652
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    ipsofacto, thanks for your post.

    I am very touchy about criticism.

    Bossy people drive me mad.

    I swear at other drivers all the time.

    Talking this through with my partner has been really hard, since of course I think she is being critical. But yes, I thought I was just typical of everyone else. I can only see (or is it admit) these things now.

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    #96653
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    nellie
    Member
    Post count: 596

    Julestnz, LOL he live in NZ :-) What a funny coincidence!

    But now I have to wonder just how much of an expert he really is .After I read your post i just just googled him and found out he’s a freelance writer and not an ADHD expert. His first book was on gardening but he has just (self) published another on adhd and anxiety.

    The Fog book is also self-published so not sure how much content editing was done to check accuracy of information.

    http://www.smashwords.com/

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    #96654
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    Scattybird
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    Post count: 1096

    That’s interesting nellie. I got the impression when I read it that it was written by someone with ADHD PI who had done his own research on it. Maybe he’s not even that then! I did think it was OK at the time, but not everything fitted, but that’s back to blurred edges.

    julestnz – in that case take it with a pinch of salt. Lots of these books are by people just sharing. If you want something more factual try Barklay’s book.

    I know what you mean about impulsivity julestnz. Although predominantly inattentive, the biggest triggers that sent me looking for help were related to my emotional regulation – or lack of it. Actually Barklay (spelling?) suggests that PI is really combined type unless you have the Sluggish Tempo variety which is different again and some doubt it’s ADHD at all but something else. Even the experts can’t agree.

    Anyway….must go..late for work…again!

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