January 21, 2014 at 12:08 pm #123862
miroslavMemberJanuary 21, 2014 at 12:08 pmPost count: 2
I can not remember things when i need them. Names, thinks to do – you name it. In many cases I remember it after three ours or more, but unfortunately it is too late. I look like idiot in front of my boos and colleagues again. Any suggestions?
MiroREPORT ABUSEJanuary 21, 2014 at 2:33 pm #123863
Patte RosebankParticipantJanuary 21, 2014 at 2:33 pmPost count: 1517
@Miroslav, I have trouble with that too. So do a lot of ADDers, because ADHD affects working memory. But every ADDer is different, so not every suggestion will work for every ADDer. We need to really understand our own ADHD, so we can customize how we respond to it…
Is this problem mainly at work, or does it affect you in other situations? What is it, exactly, about those situations that make you feel and respond this way?
Are there any situations where it’s not an issue for you at all? What is it about those situations that makes you feel so comfortable, that everything comes easily to you?
Now, for the tricky part: How can you apply what works in those good situations, to help you work through the situations where you struggle?REPORT ABUSEJanuary 21, 2014 at 2:34 pm #123864
shutterbug55ParticipantJanuary 21, 2014 at 2:34 pmPost count: 430
Memory is a funny thing. If yours is anything like mine, it is even “funnier”. I can recall the tiniest of details from events that happened 40 years ago, but couldn’t tell you what my own office phone number is or what I had for breakfast yesterday, or the color of shirt I wore to work.
Have you ever smelled something in the air, and it triggers a flood of memories you never knew you had? Or thoughts you haven’t had in ages? Or feelings? Some smells trigger memories and thoughts as if I have been sucked into a time machine. I am there. Experiencing all of it again.
I have worked with animals all my life, and there are zillions of smells and tactile experiences that trigger my memories. Sometimes a dish I have for dinner will do the same thing. A song on the radio, any number of things will produce an unbidden flood of memories. I will stand there transfixed, as the memories wash over me. People who know me, have seen this happen a lot and they know to wait until I am done “time traveling”.
A common misconception is the brain works a lot like the hard drive on our computers. XYZ information is stored in 123 location. Go to 123 location and “BING!” there is your information. Think about physics and all the information you have on physics comes to mind. Yea right. If only. Memories are stored in bits and pieces over vast regions of the brain.
I think we have problems remembering things because we don’t have filters or our filters aren’t working very well because of our ADD/ADHD and other conditions. Those memories and bits of information get stored with stuff that we won’t use and they all have the same priority. Kind of like the garage of a hoarder. This makes it doubly difficult to get to the memories and information we want.
OK Here we are. Here is what I do.
I start by writing down those things I wanted to remember. I do this, in case I can’t access them, when I need to. At work, during meetings, or when I need to have the information at hand, I have my notes. I organize them by projects, subjects or time order sequence. Organization and categorizing things is sort of a thing with me. This is my fall back.
I do this so I don’t have a heap of information that is as disorganized as my own mind. If there is a question that I can’t answer right away, I give my standard reply “I don’t have that information right now. I will email it to you after the meeting”. No apologies. No fumbling. I just write down a to-do to get that email out with XYZ information provided. Nobody will challenge you, because THEY don’t want to look like an @$$.
How to improve memory:
A few years ago, I was reading an article about how people memorize information to be recalled later. A lot of those techniques are based on how the brain stores memories. One of these techniques is what I call a “Hall of Memories”
Pick a place you know well. One where you can close your eyes and walk through and see in your head. Mine is my office. It is filled with old books, new books, puzzles, models, my desk, and pictures. Next you want to picture what it is you want to remember. Let’s say I want to remember the song “Open Water” on Alchemy Index. In my mind, I would place a sound I associate with that music on an index card in my fish tank, by my desk. It would have the words I need to know, so I can look it up on the computer at a later time.
Any time I need to remember “Open Water”, I reach into the fish tank of my mental office, and pluck out the index card. When I am done, I put it back. It takes practice, but I can memorize an amazing amount of stuff in a very short time. I don’t stress out, because I have my back up notes and coping mechanism.
Why does it work, you ask? Remember when we were talking about how the brain stores things? In a junk pile with everything having the same priority, memories get “lost” because they are in with all the junk. The memories are still there, but they are hidden because they are in with a bunch of stuff we are not looking for.
By placing the information in a specific setting, I have made a connection to that useful information that is stored in many places in my brain and associated it with multiple points of reference. The wetness of the water (touch), the smell of the fish tank (smell), the fish tank itself (sight), and the sound of the music (hearing). One of them will connect and out pops the information I need! Ready to use! It’s like putting blinking lights on the stuff I want in that garage.
The down side? Sometimes I smell a fish tank, and up pops “Open Water” on Alchemy Index. Funny how the mind works. But that is how we started this conversation.
Hope this helps.January 22, 2014 at 5:49 am #123872
miroslavMemberJanuary 22, 2014 at 5:49 amPost count: 2
Thank you for that information. It was big AHAAA to me. This was what I new intuitively. I am for sure remember staff, bud I am not able to access it. Harder I tried the situation just get worse and get tired And than the circle of mistakes begin. So it is not that I do not remember, there is too much staff with same priority and it is difficult to connect. My experience is supporting that, in certain situations I drain so many information that my friends are asking where it is from. It is neccesarry to respect how my brain works, so thank you again.
Yesterday I did the test. I tried to access name Robbie Williams. It was wirtually impossible to do it. Some times it was like I feel the name, but it run away and loughed at mee :))). All possible singers come to my mind, names, songs, mellodies what ever, but Robbie just was not there, so I tried later woth same result. I was alone, so I allowed my self to feel fully this feeling of stupidity and helplesness. It was freedom to accept it completly. And than later suddanly from jung the word TAKE THAT come to my minn and Robbie Williams was there with relief. Connection was recognized. In the evening I have red the reaction from my post wich was absolutelly supporting it :))
MiroJanuary 22, 2014 at 11:13 am #123873
Patte RosebankParticipantJanuary 22, 2014 at 11:13 amPost count: 1517
It’s a paradox, like so many other things about ADHD.
The harder we try to think of the answer, the more stressed we get, and this makes it even harder to find it.
But if we stop trying to find the answer, our brain keeps working on it subconsciously, until suddenly, the answer pops into our head.
It’s the same with lost objects. The harder we try to find them, the more stressed we get. This affects our thinking and even our eyesight, which makes it even harder to find the objects.
Clearly, the most helpful thing we can do, is remember to pause, calm down, and do something else to take our mind off it. But it can also be the hardest thing for us to do when we’re running late and can’t find our keys.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 22, 2014 at 11:22 am #123874
siegeMemberJanuary 22, 2014 at 11:22 amPost count: 3
I forget things as well as misremember or even remember things that aren’t real.
I was was visiting a friend recently and reminded him of an elaborate and clever stash place he had devised in his basement 25 years ago, and he said “What are you talking about?” and so I described it in more detail and he said that never happened. Wow. Did I dream it a long time ago and eventually remember it as real? It kind of freaks me out, but I’m also sort of fascinated that my mind even did that.
Then the other day I wanted to color my hair at home. I can’t get the back of my head very well so I thought I would ask my fiancé to do it, even though I hesitate to ask because the odor is so nasty. So I ask him like, hey- would you mind? And he says “Sure- I did it last time for you” and I say “You did?!?” which I say a lot, to everyone, all the time: “I did?” “It is?” “They are?” And so on.
But I am getting really good at putting my keys on a hook by the door everyday, so there’s that. 🙂REPORT ABUSEJanuary 22, 2014 at 4:04 pm #123875
shutterbug55ParticipantJanuary 22, 2014 at 4:04 pmPost count: 430
Misremembering, or “remembering” things that didn’t happen, might happen, if you are playing back other conversations, or day-dreaming. My mind goes on vacations while people are talking to me as well. It seems like they take for ever to get to the point, or repeat themselves constantly. I get bored and start wandering, and that’s where I start getting into trouble.
In the workplace, I use a Livescribe pen, to jot notes and record conversations. This keeps me from both misremembering and “remembering” things that didn’t happen. My Hall of Memories tends to keep me in the here and now, because I have to think quick and pull out bits of information. It sounds like a lot is going on, and there is, but my mind works so much faster, when I have something to do. Most people think and talk so slowly, that I find I have plenty of time to do it all.
The Livescribe pen is also a real good tool for me to gauge how close I am paying attention, when I compare my notes to the spoken word. I need help with identifying the important stuff, so I write down what I think is important at the time, and compare it with the recording on the pen. Since the pen picks up everything, I am able to review the conversation and try to pull out the audio clues to what THEY thought was important.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 23, 2014 at 9:46 pm #123895
dithlParticipantJanuary 23, 2014 at 9:46 pmPost count: 158
Ha! @siege! Sounds familiar. Early yesterday morning, I was lying in bed, trying to get going, thinking that I really should have asked my partner what time he was getting up, so I could plan my morning. So I asked him, “What time are you getting up?” His response – he reached over and drummed his fingers on my arm in what I can only describe as a sarcastic gesture. That’s all I needed to trigger my memory. “Oh, right! You said 6:00!” At which point he muttered, “That’s the fourth time you asked me that.” 😀REPORT ABUSE
Later on, when we were both awake, I told him “If you want it to stick, use cue cards”. I need a visual! It must be so much “fun” living with me at times…
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