I need advice to try to convince my parents to get me tested

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I need advice to try to convince my parents to get me tested 2018-07-31T05:22:42+00:00

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  • #131056

    lslslsls
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    Post count: 1

    I will try to keep it short, but my parents are very skeptical people when it comes to “these things”. For a long time I have suspected I might have ADHD and several times I kinda teased my parents about it (even when I just casually said it, as a joke, they would become aggressive about it). Long story short, if this is really ADHD I cant just ignore it and try to live a normal life, so I have concluded the best outcome would be to write a research paper about ADHD and why I might have it, and then give it to them. However, I suck at writing essays, specially if they include personal stuff. Any advice on what should I do? Because I dont know what to do. (Btw my parents are divorced and my dad lives in another country, so “family talking sessions” is not an option.) They are also Christian (my mom is a heavy believer), but the kind of Christian that believed until recently depression is always caused by a demon. Also, I can’t talk with a school counselor because those don’t really exist in my country, and the school psychologist isn’t such a great person either (a snitch. Isnt that illegal tho?)

    One last thing: I have gone to a psychologist before (I got in trouble at school, nothing to do with ADHD) and she was my mom’s friend so I was never honest with her. I just mention it because it might be one of her strongest arguments (the fact that I’ve gone to a psychologist and she said I was “perfectly fine”, I think. It was 3 years ago).

    • This topic was modified 4 months, 1 week ago by  lslslsls.
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    #131070

    harry1
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    Post count: 46

    Isisisis:
    First, I am 67years old and live in the US. I don’t know your country or its rules.
    I would tell you that if you Don’t have add, be happy. It’s not something you really Want to have , if you don’t.

    Instead of an essay; just note what your parents do in handling their own lives.
    Add tends to be hereditary. You get it from one or both parents. Look at what they do, and ask yourself: does my mom or dad have things that might be caused by add?
    Use the information that totallyadd has on the site about things that give it away, and see if your parents fall under the umbrella of it. Then try using humor to get them to look at themselves.
    If your mom says that your dad “ always does this.” Or the other way around, you might have something. Remember, it hasn’t been too long that the condition has been recognized at all, and most folks over forty have very little chance that they were diagnosed when young, because nobody knew what it was , and to a large extent, most people still don’t.

    If you are able to really talk with your parents, ask them , point blank, if they are concerned about you, or more about their status in the community. It will emotionally hurt to do that, but it might be necessary to get help, if you need it. Tell your mom you were dishonest with the councilor, and tell her why. Tell her you want a different councilor, and tell her exactly why. She might understand…
    Again, not knowing your country or customs, some of this might be easy, and some might be very hard for a young person at home to do.
    Again, it is not something you want if you don’t have it, and should not be an excuse for the mistakes we all make while young, or for laziness. It is about learning yourself, and the personal growth you want. And it can be a crutch to lean on, or a tool you can use to hammer out a better life.

    Best wishes for your success.

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    #131091

    jlacroix
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    Post count: 7

    The fact is this, you may or may not have ADHD. While that sounds obvious, it’s important that you find out if you do or do not have it. You deserve to know. For therapy, one option may be online therapy with an app like Better Help, there are others though, and while that does cost money, maybe you can work something out with them. The cost varies by app. When you have privacy to yourself, log in and chat with a therapist. One thing I feel is important is to make sure that you choose a therapist that specializes in ADHD or at least has that as one of his/her specialties. That type of therapist would be more able to tell you whether or not you have it, than a generalist would be able to. I saw general therapists for several years and got nowhere. Just recently I started seeing a therapist that specializes in ADHD, and I finally got my answers.

    As for religious parents, I’ve been there, my mom is super religious too. There’s stigma in several areas of my life right now, and while that’s unfortunate, you can’t stop everyone from having stigma. The best thing is to learn the facts, learn the truth regarding whether or not you have ADHD, and navigate through this experience learning as much as you can, forming your own opinions via unbiased research, and the truth will be known to you.

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    #131300

    spikerules0
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    Post count: 1

    Leave the ADHD out of the conversation. Just get the cognitive testing done by a reputable doctor who is NOT associated with your family in any way. Brainstorm and research other reasons such as you want to know your IQ (it is not part of the test but maybe your parents don’t know that). Let the go for a short time, give it a cool off period then ask for the testing. Sure you are skewing the truth but it is for your own mental being. I hope this helps in some way.

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    #131308

    koishi
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    Post count: 14

    First of all, don’t frame it as having adhd. You may be able to find help without using that label, as it can trigger some unwanted consequences such as what you have already noticed yourself. Talk about the symptoms you want to address. Ex. No matter how hard I try, I can’t focus, even when I know its important and want to do well. Mention the strategies you’ve tried so far, and what hasn’t worked. If you are told that your father does that all the time, gently suggest “I’d like to overcome this obstacle. Maybe we can find a way together”. When I did that myself, with my family, it led them into a trap. My father had no interest, so his response was… no thanks, but you do whatever you want. and there it was! I had permission to seek out help 🙂
    You might need to think on it, but perhaps a similar strategy could work with your family.

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