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Hi from a new member! 2011-12-25T19:01:45+00:00

The Forums Forums I Just Found Out! I Suspect I Am Hi from a new member!

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  • #90324
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Hello all. I’m 41, single never married, and I’m a mixed bag and I self describe me as a ADD inattentive with social anxiety. Not a fun combination. So basically, my house is a wreck and I have no friends! I am too embarrassed to invite the few friends I have but my ADD keeps me from tackling the problem for more than 2-3 minutes at a time. I’ll start, think of something, check the internet for the answer and remain on the internet for an hour. I know the things that matter most require risk, and I hope I can do better in 2012.

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    #110704
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Hi Carsonky

    I am new here too but I have found this a great site for those of us living the add lifestyle. I hope you enjoy and get as much out of TotallyADD as I have.

    Carl

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    #110705
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    Scattybird
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    Post count: 1096

    Hey carsonky – you’ve just described me – except I also have a temper! Please try to get a formal diagnosis. I am trying ritalin at the moment and whilst it’s great for my temper I am still undecided on the concentration/motivation aspects with it. BUT when I take it I do just seem to automatically do stuff around the house that I just couldn’t do before. Simple things like washing up gets done etc. I just seem to tidy up and that’s just unheard of normally. It’s definitely worth trying out some meds just to get you on track. But this is the best site for AD/HD and there’s so much to learn from the others and just knowing you’re not alone is great.

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    #110706
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Thanks for the kind welcomes everyone. I will probably seek a formal diagnosis but I know it really began as a child. I never had to clean my room. My mom and dad would ask me to do it, but if I didn’t they’d do it for me. Not surprisingly, this doesn’t work as an adult. There is no clean fairy. Thankfully I’m not a full blown hoarder.. I don’t go out and accumulate in the thrift shops.. but I am a hoarder of memories. I guess you’d call me an atypical. What normally comes in my house doesn’t leave. Living alone, I don’t have anyone to get on my butt to clean and my dog doesn’t care either way. I would love to be able to invite my nieces over to play but not the way it is. As often as I try.. nearly every day.. I can’t focus on it for more than a few minutes at a time. A few minutes is better than none though so I will keep trying and hopefully get better.

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    #110707
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    Scattybird
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    Post count: 1096

    This might sound odd but my dogs were really happy when I shifted my clutter off the floor – it gave them more room. So guess your dog is happy carsonky as long as s/he has room to move.

    I know what you mean about living alone. It’s useful to have someone around for moral support and just to lend a hand.

    If you invite your nieces over to play, it might be the motivation you need to do some clearing up? I find it works for me. But the few friends I have invite themselves which puts me in a panic. But it does have its uses.

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    #110708
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Well after watching Bill’s ADD Adventures and relating to most of his daily occurrences, I felt great and laughing as always is welcomed. I feel blessed that my brain works differently. I am unique, creative, energetic, colorful, curious, intelligent,comical, resourceful, thoughtful,surprising,bold,impulsive,unpredictable, suspicious, investigative and blunt. However, I do have a few negative attributes as seen from the eyes of other abnormal human beings (non-Adhders). As some people find being organized a way of simplifying their life, chaos and disorganization simplifies my life. Yes, I am extremely impatient, inattentive, have horrific time management skills, have no concept of real time, have no time for stop signs, traffic lights or slow pedestrians. I find some conversations to be non-stimulating, boring and a complete waste of my time. Some famous people such as Einstein, Lincoln, Edison and supposedly Bill Gates have ADHD as well.

    So as you see I am truly lucky to be who I am! I feel sorry for those who do not have ADHD.

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    #110709
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Scattybird, I wish it was that easy. I would love to setup a play date for the kids to come over, but along with terrible time management skills as Fleur described, I am also a procrastinator. I have paint and varnish cans in the kitchen from unfinished paint work started about six weeks ago and my bathroom is completely covered in unsanded spackle. I am the king of unfinished projects. You would think that something as precious as spending time with the kids you love at home would motivate someone, but I continually get sidetracked. I tend to copy a lot of stuff onto DVR, but more often than not I don’t write down the contents on the label. Just yesterday when I tryed to get something going, I found one unlabeled and wondered what it was. I popped it in the DVD player to originally write down the contents but I ended up watching the whole thing. Bye bye three hours. My week of vacation is almost up and this is my last free day without plans. I’ll try to use that as a motive to get moving today…

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    #110710
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    Wgreen
    Participant
    Post count: 445

    I LOVE carlakin’s comment about “living the ADD lifestyle”!

    It conjured up images of exploding kitchens, rooms full of clutter, and assorted pink slips serving as coasters…

    Somebody should do a TV pilot.

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    #110711
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    Scattybird
    Participant
    Post count: 1096

    carsonky – I know what you mean – I really do. I’m just being a hypocrite. My house is also in such a state that I had to stop my best friend and her kids from staying this summer. It was just too bad to deal with this year. Their self-invites usually kick me into action but this year I just had to say no. It’s embarrassing really but instead of finishing one task I start another and the upshot is the whole house is now a complete wreck. I mean a wreck – not just untidy. Guess I have learnt never demolish stuff until you have a plan to rebuild it! Actually, no I haven’t learnt that at all….I still do it! Bonkers isn’t it. Never mind.

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    #110712
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    anniea
    Member
    Post count: 47

    Greetings new member. I too have clutter everywhere… but it HAS changed this last two years. They say clutter has to do with grief maybe.

    I believe the changes you are looking for are NOT immediate. They take practice, and lots of time and effort.

    I can organize for other people faster than I can for myself, find your self a clutter buddy to help you. Once you start telling people you have ADD, and you are looking for help, I have had some good responses….not all, but some.

    In the last year, I have had several big gatherings at my house ( my daughter had a pre dance function at my house twice, and then graduation.) For all of these more of the clutter was dispersed..for good, some was moved, for later..

    For the next function, the piles were smaller, and I had a “headstart” on the next cleaning frenzy. I hate this by the way… BUT the clutter has not come back as big. and I can SEE PROGRESS…..

    PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION…

    I also had help from family and friends that cam and lent a hand before the big graduation…It was a thing of beauty… I am telling you we had a whole house full of ADDers… we took turns working on stuff and chipped away at the yard, and dining room.

    My brother started a project in the yard…he got distracted…my boyfriend/partner came by, saw the project, started where brother left off, he got distracted, wondered off…brother came back worked on yard again. This happened all day..no one got excited, we got it done.

    I was remebering other times, and other parties… its always been that way..even growing up…

    Long post, but broken up to read easier… hope it worked.

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    #110713
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Anniea – I am a fan of both Hoarders tv shows (A&E and TLC) and know from the show that teamwork is a big factor in getting work done. I’m glad it’s worked for you, but without going into detail why, this is something I can not do. I have to get this done by myself. I am making progress… very slow progress.. but it’s being done. I got the thoughts of my nieces to keep me going.

    Scatty – It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I don’t get self invites. I haven’t had a visitor in the home for close to a year. Good luck in your battles as well. I’m sacrificing my Friday night to continue on.

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    #110714
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    Now that I am convinced I have ADD, I have created a blog. Whether or not it will be updated is if I can focus enough to write down the progress! I’m sure you guys understand. Thanks again for the welcome.

    2012add.blogspot.com

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    #110715
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    Scattybird
    Participant
    Post count: 1096

    carsonky – I’ll check out your blog. I have 3 visitors to my house – just occasionally though.

    One is completely bonkers (if it’s OK to use that phrase) and she thinks I am too, so we just ignore each other’s mess.

    The other is an old friend who feels comfortable bringing her kids to my house because they can’t do any damage because I have beaten them to it!

    The other is a neighbour who also thinks I am strange so I think I am entertainment value because she can’t believe I can live like I do.

    anniea – I love your description of your family help. Nice point too ‘progress not perfection’. The problem is my place is such a tip I’d be ashamed to get anyone to help me. I am not sure even the 3 visitors I do sometimes have would understand it they saw it all!

    carllakin – I too like the idea of the ADD life style – it’s sounds so positive!

    But, it’s a New Year and my New Year ‘to do’ list is written!!!!! Check out no-dopamine’s de-clutter post too.

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    #110716
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    I find it helps a lot to talk about it both here and on the blog. If I lose focus, I come back here for a 1/2 hour (ok, an hour or more) break or so and then get right back on it. Making a lot of progress today.

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    #110717
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    Anonymous
    Post count: 14412

    LOL.. it’s weird reading this old blog. My kitchen is still unfinished with the paint and varnish cans and the bathroom is still in disarray with the unpainted walls and that’s been going on for ten months. Why do I find these tasks so difficult? Perhaps it’s due to the constant picking up after myself. By the time I get a room clean, I quit but in a couple of days it’s out of whack again leaving the paint tasks on the sidelines once again. Vicious circle. I need to learn to put things back or throw things away the moment I’m done. A little jealous of my nieces who do it so effortlessly. It’s a task that needs to be learned early, that’s for sure.

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