November 23, 2018 at 11:47 am #131344
halo97ParticipantNovember 23, 2018 at 11:47 amPost count: 1
Just found this forum after finally reading about ADHD this morning. Now, my mother once told me, she wondered if I might had ADHD – and she is (and I am) sure she has it too, even though she has not been diagnosed (never went to see a doctor for it).
Recently a hypnotherapist I was seeing asked me if I had ever considered the possibility of having autism. From what I read about autism, and the people I’ve met with this condition, this does not apply to me at all. But this morning, when I read about ADHD, I kind of had an experience of: OH MY GOD. Is this the reason for all my problems in life?
I’ve always hestitated to consider this diagnosis as the right one for me, as I would (and I’m sorry) think: people who cannot sit still and had struggled seriously with school as kids. And it was a diagnosis for boys.
My problem is: I never struggled in school. Yes, I could never concentrate, I would be seriously impatient and bored all the time. All my hand-ins were half-finished, and the teachers complained to my parents about me being an underachiever. Still, I was a straight A student. I learned things quickly, then got bored. I had a hell of a temper, had trouble feeling comfortable around other kids, as I lacked situational awareness. I would just say what popped into my head. I had a lot of friends, though. I think they, apart from my social limitations, also found me quite fun to be around, always really creative, imaginative and spontaneus. I was a daydreamer, constantly forgetting stuff. I was teased about it, I developed an aversion against board games with my family, as they would always pick on me for not being able to keep up and concentrate. I get the “It’s weird – you being so smart, still you cannot keep up with the simplest of tasks” a lot.
As a 27-year woman, I have had to develop an everyday routine to hinder myself from forgetting my own head. As soon as I get distracted from it, I skip some crucial part: I leave my phone or wallet, I forget my schoolback (I have recently started studying again), I get tons of parking tickets as I always forget to pay, I’ve lost so much on the train it’s ridicoulos. Everytime I will tell myself: no, it has to stop, now you’ve learned your lesson and it will never happen again. But no matter how hard I try – it happens. Time after time. The worst part is, all people in my life shake their heads at me. They think that I just don’t care, that I’m irresponsible, stupid. It makes me feel like an idiot, and a failure.
Oh, and there is the time. I’m always stressed as I do not have any concept of time whatsoever. I’m always late, again causing people to think that I don’t care about our social appointments, well, and even job interviews. It’s amazing how much you can try on these things, and they still just fail. I never seem to get better at them. Man, I’ve been yelled at by my family on family vacations for not being ready, for losing track of time, causing us to miss events. It’s horrible for everyone involved.
Now, as I was saying, I recently took up studying for a university degree – a thing I’ve tried two times before, but never been able to execute. People’s first impression of me was: how can that girl just keep walking away from her things at university without even noticing, hahaha. A week in, and I was known as the forgetful one.
I’m currently working on a huge project with my study group and find that I get bored very easily. I tend to come up with new ideas all the time and get all fired up about them, I find all the new thought projects sooo interesting, but sitting down and writing ten pages about them – I just can’t seem to get it done. It’s always been like this, and it’s causing me a lot of problems. I feel so lazy. I feel like I can never do what I’m supposed to do. I have a huge passion for new ideas or rewirering the old ones, and I’m very impulsive. I was once examined by a psychiatrist for bipolar disorder but did not meet the criterias – no psychiatrist ever mentioned ADHD, and I feel like they are stuck on the “hyperactive boy”-thing too. I seem very calm, I was a well-behaved kid (with very strict parents), but my mind is a mess, always running fast. I can never sleep, I have very active dreams, and I get sleep medicine, which helps a lot. I am diagnosed with severe OCD and anxiety too, but I don’t feel like those are explaining the problems I’ve written here. I feel like some explanation is missing. Could it be ADHD? How do you even get examined for this condition? I live in Europe, by the way.
Other stuff for you to know? Yeah, I still have outbursts of feelings I cannot explain. Sometimes I react with extreme anger on minor incidents. Over the years I’ve learned proper social codes and have a tendensy to hide anger, as I always (and often rightfully) suspect it to be misplaced. I am extremely sensitive. Noise bothers me, I can even get all worked up to the point of tears if there is too much noise around me. I talk a lot and get very enthutiastic, I always feel like I’m dominating the conversation too much, but even though I pinpoint this feeling in the midst of a conversation, I cannot stop it from happening. I don’t understand myself. I need an explanation, something to relate to, which I found when I read about ADHD. I always felt that there were certain things that excluded me from having ADHD, but now I’m not so sure. But I feel foolish to go to the doctor if I misunderstood something. Please – if you read all the way through this looong story – I would really appreciate your advise. Thanks!REPORT ABUSEDecember 3, 2018 at 5:09 pm #131463
abbynormParticipantDecember 3, 2018 at 5:09 pmPost count: 2
Wow. I cannot believe how much we have in common. This post was a relief to read through. I am also a 27 year old female. I have been treated for anxiety but it never felt right. I am also back in school and it feels like everything is crashing down on me. I get so excited for new projects because I have great ideas. But the follow through is terrible. I’m currently typing this instead of finishing my PowerPoint that is due tonight. I interrupt professors friends and loved ones. You said it so well. I know I am doing it but I can’t find ways to stop. I want to slow down but I feel like I have to be constantly stimulated. You’re not alone in what you are going through. For the last three months I have been very caught up with reading about adult ADHD in women and I’m shocked at how much I relate to the research. It’s been a really difficult process. I finally scheduled an appointment today and when I got there the lady said they do not evaluate for adult ADHD and she was sorry that they didn’t tell me that when I called to schedule. And all I could think was great now I will have to find the time to call other places schedule something probably miss my first appointment etc. it was such a let down and I am not sure where to go from here. Just wanted you to know that I related on a very personal level with everything you are going through. I hope it gets better for you.REPORT ABUSE
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