January 15, 2010 at 7:38 pm #88183
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 15, 2010 at 7:38 pmPost count: 14413
Hello, I have a question on being impulsive
Per example I find myself to be a very passionate person. When I hear an idea that’s exciting I am so there, on board, want to help, want to give my time and my energy etc…
The issue comes down to I get excited about something and bam, I forget about my own real life responsibilities and before I know it I am totally invested in helping out with this new fun thing and then before I know it I am in way over my head, have to back out, and people get really upset. Currently I got involved in a project that is taking time away from my schooling and now I am in this situation again of having to back out and I’m really afraid of making this person upset.
This time I have my school and it’s a genuine reason to need to step out of my current “project” I’ve over extended myself in. But in general I do this quite often where I get excited about something, I’m all in, then I get overwhelmed and I fall apart and can’t finish what I started. Only to repeat the pattern because to me there are so many exciting things out there to do in life.
Sometimes I just feel I want to do so much and I have a hard time thinking about the consequences of my actions of putting too much on my plate.
Are there any suggestions for people when they’re being impulsive to help them stop and take a better look at things instead of letting the feelings of being stimulated by this current “thing” cloud their mind? Part of me wonders if I am even allowed to ask this. I’ve been ashamed and hard on myself for this part of myself for a very long time, and some long terms friends keep saying to me I don’t seem to learn from my mistakes.
Thank you for your time.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 16, 2010 at 10:13 pm #92138
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 16, 2010 at 10:13 pmPost count: 14413
Last year was my best example of this. I got involved in a project to find new ways to refine metals. We eventually learned a lot but… I almost failed my courses because all my money, time and thought was invested in this side project. I stopped the side project and missed out when it got published, sadly, but I DID finish the year at school without failing.
Starting and quitting projects because I throw to-much of myself at them or failing at other things because I completely divert my attention to a side project is the absolute story of my life, ever since I was a child.
I’m no pro at not getting caught up in side issues but…
My side projects are normally of a chemistry, metal melting, fire nature and need significant amounts of time and money just to build the apparatus to test out my thoughts.
Thinking my way through, very slowly and carefully, planning them out and then taking a huge triple big massive deep breath and actually LOOKING at them to see what is the real benefit I can realize from doing the experiments, has helped me a lot.
Sitting down and saying ‘well I will gain this, but it will COST ME this’ and taking a moment to grok… ever read stranger in a strange land? It’s sci fi but it helped me a lot with my ADHD.. ops distracted…taking a moment to understand the situation really helps me NOT get into a lot of these projects.
Talking with people and getting carried away into an idea is something that I still have an issue with. I have a rather bad way of dealing with that; I just refuse to get involved with anything, initially, reflexively.
I take the time afterwards to think about it, try and use the above approach to analyze it and then ether change my answer to yes, or let it remain as a ‘no’ I know this means I do possibly lose out on some chances in life, but I feel that also gain by not wasting as much of my time chasing dreams when I am trying to lay a foundation for me to build my life on (aka schooling)
“Are there any suggestions for people when they’re being impulsive to help them stop and take a better look at things instead of letting the feelings of being stimulated by this current “thing” cloud their mind? Part of me wonders if I am even allowed to ask this. I’ve been ashamed and hard on myself for this part of myself for a very long time, and some long terms friends keep saying to me I don’t seem to learn from my mistakes.”
I have such a hard hard time with this. It sounds so neat and simple on paper but in reality I’m still filled with feelings of inadequacy at not being able to chase all these mental butterflies. It’s even more frustrating seeing the people who are seemingly able to do so.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 19, 2010 at 9:34 pm #92139
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 19, 2010 at 9:34 pmPost count: 14413
Hi, this is a video that is on the pipeline but the brief synopsis is this:
a) using meds to create “stop power”
b) staying away from situations where you may be tempted (e.g. a gambler should not be in a casino, a person with money problems should not own a credit card etc.)
c) creating enough stimulation such that your brain does not seek it out in non-socially productive ways.
d) creating an internal narrative that emphasizes the voice of “stop” with a voice you trust and would listen to unconditionally
Let’s start with that.REPORT ABUSEJanuary 21, 2010 at 2:00 pm #92140
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 21, 2010 at 2:00 pmPost count: 14413
Few months ago I met a man , we fall in love, we now stay together….And, we had so many COOL plans to start our business. We bouht everything that was needed to start and work well..after few contracts..we had another idea about somethnig else..we did return to the stores to buy all the stuff to that other business…6 monts later, we did start 3 business..that could work very well….
If we can focus long enough on it… (grrrrr!)…This morning he just went out to a regurlar job,…but I can read the future….it wont last long…
I will make him see your site since he is not diagnosed with ADD..but I feel so ‘close’ to his way of thinking…so much like me…
BUt we keep laughing at ourselves since we both know are weekness and trying hard to improved…
HAve a good day!REPORT ABUSEJanuary 22, 2010 at 3:10 pm #92141
AnonymousInactiveJanuary 22, 2010 at 3:10 pmPost count: 14413
I just love that….Ferrari model with Model T brakes…..It just fit me…well, I my mind anyway….) you know for that Ferrari look…REPORT ABUSE
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