July 5, 2013 at 8:39 am #120828
keepingthefaithMemberJuly 5, 2013 at 8:39 amPost count: 12
Can anyone who has had experience with coaching tell me about it? (Especially if you’ve done it via phone/skype…. I can’t find anyone in our immediate area to go see). I’m interested in any/all info you have… regularity of appts, cost, successes, etc…
Thanks!!REPORT ABUSEJuly 6, 2013 at 10:47 pm #120857
darktendrilMemberJuly 6, 2013 at 10:47 pmPost count: 30
I have gone to one in person. She was nice but I did not find the sessions that helpful. We never really set any goals, and on the occasional time that we did she didn’t follow up on it next session, so I felt that it was pretty aimless overall… The advice was more miss than hit as well, she did not seem to care to incorporate ME into my solutions, everything was what works for her… and I don’t even know if she has ADHD lol..
I have also spoken with another supposedly well-known coaching service on the phone, but I found her to be overly pushy and almost rude trying to sell her packages, and it turned me right off. (She refused to wait until the end of the month to start, even though I told her I needed to for financial reasons. She went ahead setting it up immediately anyway, booking an appointment for me right away with one of her employees. Then when I insisted it had to wait, she never replied, or ever followed up.)
Sooo….. if anyone does have any success stories, I am interested as well! lolREPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2013 at 1:53 pm #120858
seabassdMemberJuly 7, 2013 at 1:53 pmPost count: 119
I’m curious as well. What works the best a local support group or coaching?REPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2013 at 3:22 pm #120859
CarrieMemberJuly 7, 2013 at 3:22 pmPost count: 529
I had a coach over the phone for almost a year… It was quite costly. At first I had session twice a month, and then once a month. Twice a month worked much better, but at the time we were short on cash and then went down to once a month. I didnt find this effective at all. It was basically an update and then the session was over.
She did help me at times. Other times I felt were a waste. I found it very effective when I would do things while on the phone with her eg. organizing a clutter pile. Once when I was over excited/impulsive and quit my job ahead of time, then realized I had bills to pay, I called her crying my eyes out and she helped me through it. I was very thankful for the support.
I really did enjoy talking with her. Twice a month was great! Once a month. Nope. But it was waaaaaaaaaaay too expensive! I could of been paying for a new car!
I really want to go to a group session. I havent got around to looking for any just yet (go figure hahahaha). I think a group would hold me more accountable. Just like school situations. I do better in a classroom when im forced with immediate consequences if I dont go. Online courses I never finished.REPORT ABUSEJuly 7, 2013 at 11:58 pm #120865
EvelynParticipantJuly 7, 2013 at 11:58 pmPost count: 164
I find this all very interesting. We don’t have either of those luxuries in our area, group or coach. Maybe I’m glad we don’t now. This website has been both for me. And helped me through some really tough situations.
I was/am planning to start a support group, It was put on the back burner because I have a few crisis’s to get under control before I get into it.
A group can be run by anyone who cares enough to support other people and share their success strategies. By the same token other group members can benefit the person who is running it by sharing what they had to learn on their own. They can all come up with a structure together and help each other adjust it to fit each members circumstances and individual difficulties. They can practice goal setting through the group as a group, while adjusting the criteria to suit their personal lives, with the help of the members. The real help though, in my opinion, would be the proximity of the members making accountability more frequent, and more tailored to the individual.
I do have a venue and a person to help with the initial “group” structure, she has experience forming and running caregiver groups. Lucky for me she has the summer off which will make it easier on her to devote her time if I need it.
I have an awful lot on my plate right now though, and I’ve been very overwhelmed and stuck it might be too much to try to tackle if I’m not careful how I go about it. I may also find that just getting it started will help me get through the rest of my issues. I will have to think on that one a little more, as it just came to mind.
Maybe you could get a group going in your area.July 8, 2013 at 8:04 am #120867
keepingthefaithMemberJuly 8, 2013 at 8:04 amPost count: 12
Thanks all for your responses. Interesting. Keep them coming…..anyone else want to weigh in?REPORT ABUSEJuly 8, 2013 at 12:07 pm #120870
seabassdMemberJuly 8, 2013 at 12:07 pmPost count: 119
I can see how a coach in some ways may be a better option at first if affordable and a quality coach is found. I don’t know about you guys but I don’t do really well with groups. I would think having a coach visit in person would be better than communicating with them via phone, skype, facetime, etc.
DamonREPORT ABUSEJuly 8, 2013 at 12:45 pm #120871
sdwaParticipantJuly 8, 2013 at 12:45 pmPost count: 363
I think I got lucky with both the coach and the leader of the group I participated in, because I had some of the best experiences I have had with trying to deal with ADHD through those two channels.
Coaching helped me understand my ADHD in terms of how to recognize and build on strengths, natural interests, aptitudes. It was expensive, and for that reason, not sustainable – about $400 a month, and that was five years ago. We worked by phone from across the country. Jeff Copper, DIG Coaching, he’s in Florida – you can follow his radio show, Attention Talk Radio (and I recommend it). He has a free newsletter. He’s probably all over YouTube just like everyone else. Very positive, smart, energetic guy who knows what he’s talking about, has a business background that shows. Good experience.
It’s helpful to have goals, but when I did coaching, I didn’t know what I needed help with – I just needed help. And that turned out OK working with him, because he taught me how to think about ADHD in a different way.
The primary benefit was what I said on a different thread: The puzzle that is my life became easier as a result of talking to someone who could show me the picture on the cover of the box. It’s a covered bridge in autumn! Now I know where the red pieces go, etc. Maybe it’s just me, but I think living with ADHD is like that. Lots of pieces. No box cover.
My caveat with coaching is this: As with many aspects of ADHD, there’s no cure, so when you stop doing it, a lot of the old problems can come back. I learned and internalized new things, and identified areas of strength worth pursuing, but I still have ADHD, struggle, and feel lost on multiple levels.
There is no perfect solution – I think it comes down to learning approaches to ongoing management. And that not only takes time, it takes competent advice.
Groups are not for everyone. I have a hard time in groups, which tend to trigger my insecurities and reinforce feelings of being too weird and different and not belonging anywhere – making it painful and challenging to walk in the door. I was in a small, 8-10 person group for a little over a year, which was conducted by a therapist in my area who has ADHD, and taught about ADHD in every session. As participants shared their experiences, we were learning and also working toward the goal of getting better at self-observation. And that was expensive, too – I think around $500 for an 8 week session. Don Baker, Seattle, Washington – if you see articles or webinars of his, he’s a good guy to listen to. He is another great ADHD person who knows what he’s talking about.
Resources like CHADD or ADD Resources…I think for members they have links to free support groups that are attended by members, and are not facilitated by professionals – just peer support – my guess is that if you like to be around people, you can get a lot out of being in the same room with other ADHDers. But you probably have to join (pay the $50 or whatever) to get access to those groups.
The Catch-22 is that those of us whose lives are a financial disaster area are most in need yet least able to get help. I’d be interested in hearing what good free or cheap resources (besides this website, which I’m guessing is a life save for a lot of people) others may know about.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2013 at 5:29 pm #120882
dithlParticipantJuly 9, 2013 at 5:29 pmPost count: 158
Wow, swda, excellent post!
I have had 2 long-distance coaches. Very happy with both. (No groups in our area). Pricing ranged, I believe the 2nd one was around $30 for a 1/2 hour session. The first one required a monthly commitment (understandable, as he needs to make a living, and forgetfulness can translate to no-shows), so that was more expensive.
Both times I was in pretty tough circumstances, and although they weren’t therapists, the coaches were definitely people in my corner at times when that was desperately needed. The first was by phone — I was diagnosed with ADHD just 2 years earlier, suddenly on my own after a long marriage, and starting my first career. Can you say daunted?? To this day, I still remember and use some of the advice I received then. One of the most important things I learned: to look at all the positive things in my life — my accomplishments (without minimizing) and things I am thankful for. I made it through that year, and my coach is one of the people I credit for that.
My second coach was via Skype (no long-distance bills!), to get help with issues specific to my work. I had been transferred to a new position, and was not weathering the transition well (an “ADHD flare-up” induced by too much change at once — too much to learn too fast left me on perpetual overwhelm). I chose my coach because she had been in the same profession (teaching), so could offer advice for both teaching and ADHD. And again — having someone in my corner was invaluable.
Both coaches worked in a similar way, which is why I feel that both experiences were successful. We chose a small number of goals to work on (2-3) and check in during the next week. They were both very knowledgeable about ADHD, offered tips for strategies, and helped see things from a different perspective.
I stopped coaching sessions both times once I was clear of the crisis. (Typical ADHD, what?) It would probably be very beneficial to continue, but sometimes I just feel that I need to take a break from thinking about how ADHD impacts my life, and look at things through an entirely different lens. It’s a journey.
I hope that helps? Feel free to message me if you have any questions.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2013 at 9:23 pm #120887
sdwaParticipantJuly 9, 2013 at 9:23 pmPost count: 363
Can’t figure out how to message anyone on this site….So, if you happen to see this, I would be curious to know how you found your coaches – specifically, how you found coaches that charge less than I expected.
The search links on this website don’t work for me. Also I am looking for something very specific.REPORT ABUSEJuly 9, 2013 at 10:08 pm #120894
EvelynParticipantJuly 9, 2013 at 10:08 pmPost count: 164
Do you check the box at the bottom that says (Notify me of follow-up replies via email). That’s how I find out someone has posted in a forum topic that I have posted in. Even if you didn’t start the thread, it will let you know someone posted and send you the post too.
As for messaging an individual I think you can but I don’t know how to do it.
I can not find an inexpensive coach either, on the phone, on the internet, or in person.July 10, 2013 at 9:21 am #120901
daviddrorMemberJuly 10, 2013 at 9:21 amPost count: 2
Hi, I am new here in Totally ADD. My name is David. I was diagnosed with ADHD after I completed a course in Life Coaching, specializing in ADHD and learning disabilities. Big change in my life! I now supervise students in the same coaching course as well as coaching clients both face to face and via video conference or telephone.
I’m not trying to make a commercial for myself here (though that would be wonderful!!), but I am willing to tell of my take on adhd coaching issues, methods, etc.
Except for the sharing of my understanding/knowledge about the brain and ADHD, my work with my clients is based on their values, their resources and their visions, otherwise it would be about me and not about them. If the process were about me, then shortly after the end of the coaching process the client would probably end up where s/he was before; when the coaching process is about the client, s/he being the expert in who s/he is, there is a good chance that there will be significant, long lasting change/s.
Most of the “change work” is based on establishing new, desired habits (in little bits at a time) so as to consistently achieve the client defined goals, a process that takes between several weeks to several months (per habit). I do not coach my clients to eradicate less desired habits – we work only in the realm of success. All the work is based on success.
My life vision is Tikun Olam, making the world a better place for all of us. I would be honored if I could be of assistance with regard to questions or comments.
Have a wonderful day!REPORT ABUSEJuly 10, 2013 at 11:48 am #120907
dithlParticipantJuly 10, 2013 at 11:48 amPost count: 158
@David: Great explanation. For me, working on positives/success was really key — and such an exciting, refreshing,
change from many many years of trying to “fix” what was wrong with me…(though it is very easy to fall back into that mindset).
@sdwa: Um, hmm. Remember how I found them? Key word is “remember”. *scratching head* I think I noticed one on the online “ADHD Expo” in October and saw from her profile that it looked like a great fit.
The first was 5 years ago…I seem to remember a ton of time on Google, his name probably came up in the context of an article or a forum, and I liked what I read.
So, sorry, that’s probably not much help — I guess it was just a combination of luck and my tendency to spend far too much time looking up information than is healthy.REPORT ABUSEJuly 10, 2013 at 12:38 pm #120908
sdwaParticipantJuly 10, 2013 at 12:38 pmPost count: 363
I so hear you on cost, and how frustrating it is. If you have access to a library or can afford an inexpensive book, I recommend “Your Life As Art” by Robert Fritz, which has a lot of stuff in it about creating a vision of what you want for your life and also the stages of goal setting.
Hi. Glad you are here.
I appreciate what you’re saying about coaching to change habits that support goals. Never thought of it that way, but it’s a good way to think about it.
When I worked with a coach before, we never got to either one of those things, because I didn’t have a goal beyond figuring out what I’m best at and what type of environment is best for me…and at the time, was not conscious of that desire. If I had been asked to articulate it, I don’t think I would have been able to.
It was useful to start to look at behavior patterns, preferences, choices, what I gravitate toward, what I like to do even if I’m not getting paid. It was important to get rid of the mental constructs about who I thought I should be, or what I thought I should care about, to make room for seeing what I truly am about and how I work when I am most productive and capable.
I’m not saying one way is right or the other wrong…it kind of depends where someone is. Goal setting without having that other part first would have been pointless or even counterproductive.REPORT ABUSEJuly 19, 2013 at 6:46 pm #120997
garykMemberJuly 19, 2013 at 6:46 pmPost count: 1
Hi, I am new to this site and taking up the challenge of my adhd. I was diagnosed after being tested after being assaulted and receiving 3 TBI’s.
To be told I had adhd was a hell of a shock. I refused to accept the diagnosis but was talked around. She is a talented neurophysiologist. She explained my whole life to me in one session. I at last understood what was happening. With my brain injuries I had had to face different challenges everyday and this was a new one. The feeling of relief when I found out that I was not mad, bad, crazy or any of the things I had been called, was immense.
I am working my way off the ssri meds and feeling the better for it.I got the, “you have depression take these and feel nothing”. This site will be my information centre as we have so little support for adults over here in Ireland.
I have a disability support worker and he has become my coach not just for my brain injuries but now for my adhd. It helps to have somebody to help and support you.
Sometimes even a supporting friend can just give you the lift you need.
If not the web , can be great and this site is the best I have seen. I learned about my brain injuries and what to do and got support at first from Australia. They gave me the contact details for the Irish groups.
Find help wherever you can.
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