A Gift?

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A Gift? 2013-01-28T09:28:56+00:00
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  • #119731
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    pigmonkey
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    Post count: 18

    @Weird beans That depends on tone when spoken. 😉

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    #119766
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    Evelyn
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    Post count: 164

    I’m going to have to carry a cue card for “come backs”, clever terms for an explosive temper, and alternate terms for non-ADDers. Maybe I’ll… — someone should start a glossary and add to the kitchen sink, or next to the edit button.

    “nurotypical”

    “going longears” I can just see my sister’s stare now.

    “Going Postal” is worn out, plus it’s a really tragic analogy.

    “Mouth breather” is good, but my sister would come back with “Oh! and where do you breath from… Your a**” Then I be stuck speechless as my brain shuts down.

    I’d go all “blue screen”

    “Yeah, and Lou Gehrig’s is just Stephen Hawking’s excuse for why he can’t tap-dance.”

    That’s a good one Larynxa, and I would really have to write it down because the “blue screen” is in the cue already trying to shut me down.

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    #119768
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    Evelyn
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    Post count: 164

    My sisters (I have 3) and my brother called it “Going all Exrosist” or “Getting all Linda Blair” Because they said my head would spin and I would spew green stuff.

    I’m not a fan of Horror/Gory movies, so I didn’t have the visual in my head, luckily! I think it might have made me worse.

    I was really, really explosive and it didn’t take much. I was lucky to find my trigger, but I really had to work on it, even after I found it.

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    #119770
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    Robbo
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    Post count: 929

    Wow, great… Really awesome. And I promise I’m not saying this in a sarcastic tone. “Dark sarcasm” is dangerous nasty evil stuff. But we go there, huh?

    What do neuro-typicals expect?. Hopefully spell check will find our new word in the dictionary. Hyphen? or no Hyphen gang?

    Do we get credit for making new words? Will Webster mention “the crew at TotallyADD” when they add our new coined words n phrases to the dictionary? or slang dict.

    Naw, being famous is the last thing anyone in this camp needs, huh?.

    Woopsss. I’m afaid I might be a lil bit too addicted to using my sarcastic nature.

    It’s actually a bit self destructive.

    Time to forgive myself once again. Huh?.

    I’m a mess today…

    I’m desperate for the ability to forgive…

    Very.

    R-

    PS. It’s definitely not any of the people in this forum that I’m struggling to forgive. You guys, all of ya have done more to change my life that most of the rest of the folks I talk to every day. And I truly mean this from the bottom of my sinking soul…

    Thank you for “keepin it real” gang. You’ve got my attention, and I’m paying you more of my attention that I ever even knew I actually had. The more attention I pay to you guys. The more I actually have. It’s a reap what you sew sort of thing.

    So thank you once again.

    berry sincerely…

    (-;0

     

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    #119782
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    Galadriel724
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    This is an interesting back and forth. I agree with a lot of it. The gift thing I have a hard time with, because as someone mentioned, a gift is a choice. If I was given a choice, and the ability to see my life as it would have been without the adhd in comparison, there is a chance that I could end up picking the one with the ADHD. However, I see ADHD as something that limits my choices. Neurotypicals have more say in things. They may not want to listen to something that they know is horribly boring yet vital to their job or have the urge to make a comment at the worst moment, but they get that extra millisecond of time that one needs to make the decision based on importance, rather than learn to become a better planner, and work really hard to compensate in other ways simply because we cannot predict whether we will in fact be able to do what we know we need to. I hate boring things but want to hear the important ones. I wish I could force it more. I wish that I could have the choice to do it like other people and not always be rushed and depend on being creative at the right moment. I often am, and succeed surprisingly often, but I know that other people get what they put in most of the time. For me it’s a crap shoot. Tonight that just leaves me exhausted from putting in 100% of my energy reserves.

    Another word. I am not the originator of the word, but I am fond of “neurodeviant”. In fact I use that term to refer to a lot of people, I think that some deviancy makes life interesting, if it’s not the kind that gets you arrested….

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    #119788
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    mulegirltx
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    Oooh–I love “neurodeviant”!! That will have to go on my list of “compliments you’ll have to explain,” right after jackass. 😀

    I know it’s hard to predict what we would choose if given the option. But I like to think that, despite the horrific difficulties that crop up seemingly out of nowhere, I would opt to stay with my ADD because of the creative and curious way my mind works.

    I also realized recently another “gift.” I’m co-writing a novel with a neurotypical–the one who made me go longears. But I realized she NEEDS me when she asked how these disparate parts we’re both writing will come togther to form a cohesive novel.

    It took me a moment to realize she was serious in asking that question. To me, that’s a no brainer! The whole picture has been in my mind all along. Worse for her/better for me is that I can’t explain it to anyone–I just have to do it. Kind of like math problems (which I did have in high school and why I declined to tutor when I was acing prep trig–I was getting the right answers but couldn’t explain HOW).

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    #120291
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    Faequine
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    Post count: 20

    Hahahaha, the shinny things are awesome. I do tend to find a lot of coins, though the Loonies and Twoonies are rare.

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    #120292
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    Wgreen
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    Post count: 445

    Here’s an interesting perspective on gift v. curse from the Wikipedia ADHD entry. (I think I may have posted it a few days ago on another string, but I can’t remember exactly where. Sorry.) Under the subhead “evolution,” the author(s) posits this theory:
    “Further evidence that hyperactivity might be evolutionarily beneficial was put forth in a 2006 study finding that it may carry specific benefits for certain forms of society. In these societies, those with ADHD are hypothesized to have been more proficient in tasks involving risk, competition, and/or unpredictable behavior (i.e. exploring new areas, finding new food sources, etc.), where these societies may have benefited from confining impulsive or unpredictable behavior to a small subgroup. In these situations, ADHD would have been beneficial to society as a whole even while severely detrimental to the individual.”
    So here we have somebody suggesting that while ADHD is (or can be) hell for an individual, it is sometimes “a gift” to the community. We’ll call it the Vincent van Gogh theory——the man was deeply troubled; the world got some great art. All I can vouch for is the individual hell part.

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    #120294
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    redarno
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    Post count: 12

    What Wgreen just said.

    It seems to me that neurotypicals seem to have the ability

    to take waht they feel and transform it into something else.

    I don’t know  if it’s adhd, but i for one can’t .

    I just take this personnal hell in ,over and over, and it’s slowly consuming my time here.

    It feels time, as life, is completely out of my grasp no matter how hard i try.

    Not to mention the social afflictions.

    I am of the kind who can’t finish a sentence without going mindblank and it makes me want to disappear everytime.

    But yeah totally a gift. *Sarcasm self test completed*

    In the end it just feels like you’re fucked , i don’t know how you guys manage to cope with it.

    Seriously, i’m sorry if i sound aggressive or out of place (well that would be a surprise) but i guess i wish i could see it as such

     

     

     

     

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    #120295
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    Evelyn
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    Post count: 164

    Yeah, I don’t like the idea of being who eats the first poison berry. I’m all for community but I’m kinda glad we aren’t in a time where something so alluring as bright red shiny berries, dripping with the morning dew can lure me to my doom.

    I haven’t decided if my ADD is a curse or a gift. I think it depends on the circumstances. I don’t like mundane chores, but it would be nice sometimes to be able to just do them and get them over-with  rather than be distracted every two minutes with more interesting or pressing things to do. On the other hand, if I don’t actually do the chores it’s nice that my ADD brain can filter out the thought of it so I can concentrate… sorta, on something else.

    It’s mostly not a gift, but some-days when everything is all lined up perfect, I can get so much done. But the next day it’s like I spent all the energy I had for the project and I’m done with it for another week or four.

    Evelyn

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    #120296
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    Evelyn
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    Post count: 164

    I know what you mean about mindblank. it’s like everything you wanted to say just disappears as soon as you get everyone’s attention.

    The time thing is out of my grasp too, I have to set alarms for everything. But there are those things alarms don’t work for, and if I set alarms for everything I’d soon go crazy just answering them.

    Coping is all I have, I’m not good at it, but I keep telling myself it’ll come together when it’s time …I’d like to set an alarm for that!

    But when it’s all you got what else can you do, cope with it, work with it, make it work for you when you can.

    One thing that helped me talk in front of people was poetry open-mic night at a local coffee house. Maybe you could find a similar place to read your poems or rants. That way the words are right in front of you, and it will get you used to speaking in front of more than one person at a time.

    I do have days though when I wish this curse could be cut out of me, when all I want to do rip everyone who doesn’t have to work at everything as hard as I do a new…

    Well at least that’s not today.

    Evelyn

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    #120302
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    redarno
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    Post count: 12

    I know what you mean, sometimes it feels the ground is cracking under your feet and the next day everything is so ‘bright and shiny’ but reality always catches up.

    Im the same with projects, did I advance in it or not, it’s VERY difficult for me to get back to it the next day and i end up doing something else… Or nothing

     

     

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    #120306
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    allan wallace
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    Post count: 478

    Yep, I’m with you shutterbag! Nearly every word that you’ve typed has resonated with me…I too see ADHD as a curse. If we’re brutally honest we can think back to the time when it registers in our minds that we’re ‘different’, and we devote years and years clumsily attempting to hide, or at least disguise, the dreaded curse. It’s like a dirty secret that can’t be shared. We can get away with much of the mess when we’re younger, but as we age there becomes less and less places to hide, until even we can’t bothered trying to hide behind the diminishing blades of grass and we’re like exhausted fugitives that can’t even muster the energy to pretend that everything is okay anymore, that things will get better tomorrow etc. Then the ADHD boulder is dropped onto one’s lap, and we’re told that we’re mentally impaired and to deal with it! *yawn* Where was I again? Hey, look over there, aren’t the butterflies so colourful and capricious?
    *runs away*

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